About 6 months ago, a good friend of mine wrote a post (Read it here.) about how she felt like all her friends were having babies and that stressed her out because she didn't know if she was ready to be a member of the Baby Club yet. But would all her friendships change if they were mommies and she wasn't? She drew it to a conclusion that God's timing is perfect and He would be in control of her future and theirs.
Well, now SHE is expecting a baby too (Congratulations, Ryan and Corrie!), and I'm starting to feel the way she did - all my friends are joining the Mommy Club! A couple in our LifeGroup at church just had a baby 3 weeks ago, my dear friend Kristy is 6 months along, and I have SEVERAL other friends and acquaintances who are expecting! However, I think that this has had the opposite effect on me that it did on Corrie. I'm thrilled for all my friends who are taking the plunge into parenthood, but I'm feeling less desire to even dip in a toe than I think I ever have before (much to the delight and relief of my husband, I'm sure).
Here's the deal. Becoming a parent just REALLY changes your life. It's a huge blessing and I'm sure highly rewarding. But I LIKE my life now. I LIKE my husband and enjoy all the freedom we have to do whatever we want. Now that he's finishing up school, I love the fact that the opportunities before us are completely limitless! If we want to pack up everything and flit off to a foreign country for 6 months, we can! If we want to live in a tent on the Serengeti plains, we can! If we want to climb Mount Everest, we can! If we want to move to San Francisco and become hippies, we can! If we had a baby, I'm pretty sure none of these things would even be a blip on the radar. (Not that any of them are necessarily a blip on our radar anyways, but we COULD do them if we wanted to!)
So this is not at all to say that I don't ever want to have kids. I most definitely look forward to the marvelous ministry of motherhood, which I think is one of the highest callings on earth. However, I've recovered from the Baby Fever that I caught around Christmas after spending time with my precious nephews. I'm just going to be patient about it and enjoy this time in our lives that we'll never be able to return to once that first baby comes along. Maybe in a year or 2 we'll be ready. But in the meantime, bring on the adventure, bring on the opportunity! I'm going to savor and relish this freedom while we've got it, and thank God for this season in our lives until it's HIS time for us to move on to the next one!!!
5 comments:
Just for friends & family who might read this - the whole San Francisco hippie thing is definitely not on the radar. Nor is Mt. Everest.
We have great freedom, but very little income. The combination of those 2 factors means we're happy to live our lives vicariously through our friends. :-)
Very healthy perspective, Joni. Do things you love now so that while you're enduring the difficult days of parenthood you have something great to reminisce about.
We had to wait until our children were grown before we could flit. So... flit while you're young!
Yeah, see I felt the exact same way you did when we found out we were pregnant! I was totally content with life but I guess God has a way of changing things. Should be an interesting ride though.
joni,
all the feelings you have are so natural and good! i think the journey tarts with the back and fourth thoughts like this. i posted a post similar to this over a year ago too. enjoy enjoy enjoy this time! you are young and free!having a baby changes some things, but ultimately it enhances everything good. the lord knows when you are ready! in the meantime, enjoy packing up and going anywhere you would like to go!! it takes too long to pack up and go to HEB when you have a little bean with you!
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