"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino."
So yesterday my boss asked me to take his intern to Starbucks for her last meeting of the semester, since he was out of town. Wellllll... It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. I, of course, don't drink coffee, but I figured since I wasn't paying for it, I might as well try something yummy. And in doing so, I have definitely found my new sense of self.
I am a Grande Sugar Free Nonfat Decaf Cinnamon Dulce Latte.