Pics of Baby Eli

This is Justin again. Taking a break from the hospital while Elias is getting circumcised. Things are going well. He's a big boy and is almost always hungry. He's feeding well, but we'll probably start supplementing Joni's feedings with some formula from a syringe in order to get him more comfortable until Joni's milk comes in.

He's got both of his grandmothers and aunts doting on him. Both sets of grandparents will be living with us this next week.

Joni is feeling great and I'm so proud of her. I'm an emotional basketcase but she's being really solid, so we have a role reversal. I'm just postpartum and it will be a while before my hormones get back to normal. We both finally got some sleep last night while Eli was in the nursery; they brought him back to us every 3 hours for feedings. That was a big help.

The hospital and staff have been wonderful. Everyone really friendly and providing for all our needs. The food is a full-menu room service so Joni is eating well. The woman who did our birthing classes is the lactation consultant, so things just working out really well.

Here are some pics of him!

With Nana


With Grandma

Him being fussy this morning.


Sleepy/fussy/hungry boy.


His first picture.
Joni after giving birth.

Elias John Tapp!

(This is Justin writing)
Elias is here! He was born at 2:24am on May 21st. 9 lbs 7 oz, 22 inches long.

Joni was a real trooper and we were blessed to have a fully natural birth. She labored for several hours at home and we went to the hospital at midnight. Things escalated quickly and it took a while for the on-call doctor to arrive so she could push him out. He is very beautiful and we are VERY blessed!

No complications with his delivery, he came out easily. But, he was so big that he "tore her a new one," as the doctor put it. But, she's doing fine. We'll be in the hospital 48 hours total due to her strep b.

But, praise the Lord and thanks for your prayers! Pictures soon!

Good News and Bad News

We had another doctor's appointment today! The good news is that the baby has indeed dropped some, and my cervix is dilated to 2 cm! So we're making progress and that's great!

The bad news, however, is that I was up all night with pretty strong, frequent, painful contractions, so I should be a lot further along than 2 cm after all that. (For the most part, what is happening is that the lower part of my uterus is contracting, not the whole thing. So I have sharp pains down below, but it's not actually pushing the baby downward to make progress the way contractions should.) So the doctor felt like I may or may not continue to make progress, and it's probably going to be a really long and hard several days of painful contractions before I finally do have the baby, IF I do at all. So he strongly recommended that we go straight to the hospital and let them break my water to try to speed up labor and get things moving. However, the problem with that is twofold: Firstly, artificially breaking the water means much more painful and difficult contractions than before the water has broken, and I think it's unlikely I'd be able to go on with the drug-free birth I want if my water is broken prematurely. Secondly, there's no guarantee that breaking the water would actually jump-start labor. If it doesn't, we'd be looking at a c-section. So we declined his advice to go have the water broken, and we decided to just come home and wait for labor to progress on its own.

This is all well and good, but the contractions I'm having are really quite painful, and I'm kind of dreading the thought of 2, 3, or more days of this. So I ask for your prayers that labor progresses quickly and this baby comes OUT! Pray that my uterus will contract fully and do the work it's supposed to do! Pray also that I can get some rest - I barely slept last night, and I really don't need to be exhausted right now. I'm going to try to take a nap right now!

Book PREviews

I thought some of you may be interested in the books we have read and like for pregnancy/childbirth, infant/baby care, and childrearing. So I wanted to give you a preview of what we're doing! I'm waiting to write reviews of the books until I have actually put their concepts into practice and can tell you how they work for me. So this will just be a taste of what's to come!

Hypnobabies, by Kerry Tuschhoff - Recommended by my sister
This isn't actually a book, it's a 6-week childbirth preparation program for women who are at the end of their pregnancies and want a natural childbirth. It is a "self-hypnosis" program, which sounds weird, but it's not the same kind of hypnosis you see on TV where "you're getting very sleepy" and you can make somebody who's been hypnotized think they're a squirrel or something. I would describe it more as techniques for teaching you how to completely relax your mind and body. The concept is that childbirth is so painful because women are afraid, which causes them to be tense, which causes them pain, which causes them to be more afraid, and the cycle continues. So if you can be educated about your childbirth choices, know what to expect, and know how to relax your mind and body to break the cycle, childbirth will be much easier and shorter. This is how it's SUPPOSED to work - I'll let you know how it goes. :) I do already know that the relaxation techniques are great in helping me rest and get to sleep at night, and the "natural anesthesia" you can create with your mind has already helped me in getting rid of headaches and backaches.

BabyWise, by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam - Recommended by my sister and several other friends
I have not actually read the book BabyWise. I have read the Christian version by the same author, which is called Let the Children Come Along the Infant Way. From what I understand, the concepts are identical, but the presentation is just a little different. This is apparently a very controversial book, but it seems like mostly common sense to me. Basically, as my child's parent, I am responsible for teaching him when and how to eat, be awake, and sleep so that he can develop properly and learn how to function in our world. This book gives a step-by-step way in which I can do that. As someone who is very organized and orderly, I look forward to learning how Eli and I can get on a system together that optimizes health and life for both of us.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau - Recommended by my sister-in-law
When I first heard about this book, I thought it was going to be totally opposite from the BabyWise system. However, after reading it, I think the two go perfectly hand-in-hand. BabyWise offers more of the system and structure, Baby Whisperer tells you more how the same system can be applied to your own child given his personality. I think the two books can be melded together to make a really neat approach, and I look forward to trying it with Eli! I think it is also an excellent way to learn how to read and understand our child, since we're planning on parenting using the below book.

Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp - Given to us by our former Sunday School teacher in Waco
This book won't be something we can put into practice until Eli is a little older and begins developing a mind/will of his own. But I am THRILLED at having this book already and being able to start out parenting with the concepts it provides. This is the most Scriptural approach to parenting I have ever heard of. It will NOT be easy, not in the slightest. But I cannot wait to see it working! The basic principle is that you can't just raise your children training them to act or not act a certain way without addressing the heart issues behind all their actions. We believe that all people are born with sin natures, and it's these predispositions to sin that make a child disobey, lie, speak disrespectfully, etc. So if you just punish him for lying without ever addressing the sinful nature behind WHY he lies, then you're doing him a real disservice. This book provides a biblical approach to discipline that allows parents to know their children's strengths and weaknesses, understand the heart issues behind what they do, and address them in the context of training your children to be worshippers who want to glorify God with their behavior. Heavy, but really powerful.

Happy Due Date!

Happy Due Date to me! My sweet boy decided not to come on his due date, but that's ok. We had a nice day anyway. Here's a picture of us to commemorate 40 weeks!I'm just about certain he has dropped at least some, and my contractions are definitely getting stronger. So who knows? There is a full moon on Monday, and they say that labor & delivery wards are overflowing when it's a full moon! :)

Thanks and Stats

First of all, I just wanted to thank EVERYBODY for all of the kind comments and emails you have sent me in the past couple of weeks! I've tried to respond to them, but I'm sure I've missed somebody. And I want you to know that your support and encouragement hasn't gone unappreciated! I also really appreciate your prayers - I have felt them SO MUCH over the past couple of days. God has given me so much peace about our situation. Whether I go into labor on my own and birth him vaginally, go into labor on my own and end up needing a c-section, or wait 2 more weeks and then just have the c-section - all of those are good and admirable ways to give birth, and what matters most is a healthy baby. I am still asking and believing God for our "ideal" birth, but I am prepared to trust Him should He give us something else. Please keep praying and we'll keep you updated!

I've had so many people tell me the stories of their births, and I am just amazed by how different each one is and how many different ways it can work out! So out of curiosity, I've compiled the data to see what the trend is. This is information on the 28 babies (single births - I didn't include multiples!) that I know that have been born in the past 4 years. (I'm sure I know more, but I either can't remember or don't know how they were born.) Of these:

- 13 of the mothers went into labor on their own and gave birth vaginally (47%)
- 3 of the mothers went into labor on their own and gave birth by c-section (11%)
- 4 of the mothers were induced and gave birth vaginally (14%)
- 2 of the mothers were induced and gave birth by c-section (7%)
- 6 had elective c-sections (21%)

I don't think this proves or says anything, but I just thought it was interesting, and I'm encouraged at how many actually went into labor on their own and gave birth vaginally! It seemed like everybody I knew was telling me about their induction or c-section story (not that there's anything wrong with that and I love hearing your stories - I was just starting to feel like nobody gave birth without interventions anymore)! But when I stopped and looked at the data, more than half waited until they went into labor on their own, and more than 80% of those that did had vaginal births.

My next question is, for those of you that did go into labor on your own, WHEN did you go into labor in comparison with your due date? From what I understand, when allowed to proceed without intervention, most first-time moms don't go into labor until after their estimated due date... I may be working on another post about estimated due dates and gestation for first-time moms, but this post is already long enough. :)

Kind in All His Works

I was reading this Psalm last night, and God really used it to bring me comfort and confidence in Him. I've marked in blue the verses that really stood out to me.

Psalm 145

Great Is the LORD
A Song of Praise. Of David.

1 I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever.
2 Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.

4 One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.
5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
6 They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness.
7 They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

8 The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

10 All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD, and all your saints shall bless you!
11 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power,
12 to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

The LORD is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works.
14 The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season.
16 You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.
20 The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Discouraging Day

Well, it's been a pretty discouraging day, and we'd really appreciate your prayers. As a background, I've been having regular contractions for a week now - generally about 15 minutes apart. They are not at all painful, but I can feel that my uterus is tightening up - like the feeling when you flex your arms or something except I'm not in control of when it tightens and lets go. So last night they started to come closer together, 6-10 minutes apart. I went to sleep and woke up at 4am, and they were coming CLOSE. So I timed them and they were every THREE minutes. Generally, you don't have contractions 3 minutes apart unless you're giving birth. I timed them for a full hour to see what they'd do, and they stayed 3 minutes apart for a full hour. So I thought about waking up Justin and seeing if we should go to the hospital, but I knew from how calm I was and how little pain I was in, that there's no way this was actually it. So I just made myself relax and went back to sleep. I figured even though this clearly isn't time now, these fast contractions must mean that something is happening, and I'm going to need my rest. So when I woke up this morning, the contractions were more like 6-7 minutes apart and still not at all painful. So we just got ready and went to our scheduled doctor's appointment this afternoon, thinking they could tell us what was up.

So we got to the doctor, and the first thing we have is the ultrasound. The technician is like "Whoa, this baby is big..." "That's one big head he's got there..." "His belly measurement is off the charts..." In fact, he was so big that the machine couldn't actually give us an estimate of what it thought he weighed. It came up with 10 lbs, 5 oz, but the ultrasound tech said that doesn't really mean anything, because his belly measurement was so big that the machine didn't even use it. She that just from looking at him, she'd estimate him at 9-something. She said it's highly unlikely that he'd gain almost 2 pounds in 2 weeks, so she knows that 10,5 isn't accurate. (We didn't get any good pictures of him this week - sorry!)

Then it's time to see the doctor. I tell her about my night of contractions, and she does an internal exam... Nothing, zip, nada. He hasn't dropped at all, and so he's not putting any pressure on my cervix to make it start dilating. That doesn't mean he won't drop or that I couldn't dilate fully in just a matter of hours. But it's looking less and less likely that is going to happen. She said that of course they can never predict these things and every woman/baby is different, but if she were to make an educated guess, it would still be weeks before I went into labor on my own. Waiting weeks is not recommended considering how big this baby is. So she recommended that we go over to the hospital and hook up to the monitors to actually check my contractions and see if they're putting any stress on the baby. They also took some blood because they want to recheck my sugar and see if I developed gestational diabetes since I had the test weeks ago. This would explain the baby's large size and would affect how they treat him after birth. We should get those results at next week's appointment.

We did NOT expect a trip to the hospital today! But off we go to labor & delivery to get checked in and hooked up to the monitor! (Side note: I'd never been admitted to a hospital before... I got the wristband and everything. Didn't expect that would ever happen until I was giving birth.) So I get settled into a room and they hook me up to the monitors: one measuring my contractions, one measuring the baby's heartbeat, and one measuring my blood pressure. (Which the nurse said was a little high... I wonder why... Maybe I was a little stressed out?!?!) She said that as long as everything was looking fine, they'd only leave me hooked up for 15 minutes. It wasn't incredibly comfortable, but it wasn't the end of the world. It was a little nerve-wracking sitting there listening to the baby's heartbeat and the way it fluctuates. I would get nervous with every drop in rate, but I could tell that its fluctuations were in no way related to my contractions. So after the 15 minutes, the OB on call came in to talk about what's going on. This is the first OB I ever met with, the one who first introduced to me the idea of c-section.

He said this is the situation: The baby is doing great, healthy as a horse, having a grand old time in there. What my uterus is doing is so weak that it really can't even be classified as contractions - more just like little muscle irritations. This is why I'm not in any pain. With the baby still so high above the birth canal, my cervix just isn't dilating. And now the baby is getting so big that it's getting likely that he may not be able to drop into my birth canal. So there is a chance that we could sit here for weeks and weeks, and I'd never go into labor on my own, Eli would just get bigger and bigger in there. We are already past the point of inducing labor - he is already so big that an induction just isn't worth the risk. So our two options are to wait for nature to take its course, acknowledging that at some point we're going to have to make a decision that we've waited long enough, or go ahead and schedule the c-section. Both doctors we talked to today didn't have any problem at all with us wanting to wait another week or even 2 weeks to see what happens before we schedule a c-section. But they both seemed pretty confident that that will be the end result here. They just don't think I'm going to go into labor on my own, they don't think that Eli will even fit into the birth canal to get it started. So their basic stance is: Wait as long as you want before you let us give you the c-section you're going to end up with.

That is really, really discouraging to me, and frankly pretty scary. This is my son's life and health we're talking about here, and I don't take that responsibility lightly. But our stance this whole time has been that God is perfectly in control and He can be trusted with the timing and circumstances of Eli's birth. And no matter what happened today, God is no less in control today than He was yesterday. He is not surprised by the lack of progress I seem to be making, nor is He surprised at how big Eli is. (In fact, He's the only One who actually KNOWS how big Eli really is.) At the same time, the responsibility of being Eli's parents is a heavy one and one that God chose for us, and I wonder if at some point He will want us to step up and make a choice for the good of our son? If that is the case, how do we know when that is? We certainly believe it isn't now - we haven't even reached our due date yet. So our next appointment is set for next Tuesday.

And so I'm just begging for your prayers that Eli will come on his own SOON and be born healthy and safely. Pray that we can glorify God with our trust in Him, and that our choosing to trust will prove to be the best for all involved.

9 Months!

Here's my 9 month picture! 9 months pregnant?! Whoa.Justin thinks that I'm still enjoying being pregnant too much for Eli to come. He wonders if maybe I have to get really miserable the way most women do before I'll actually give birth... I am starting to get more and more uncomfortable, but I think it would be nice if I could just avoid the whole miserable stage of pregnancy. We'll see! :)

Date Night

Last night Justin took me out on the sweetest date night! We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner, and I ate SO MUCH FOOD! The dinner was good, but the dessert was amazing... A banana chimichanga. They wrapped a banana in a tortilla and fried it, served with ice cream, whipped cream, and caramel sauce. Oh my heavens. I could go back for one of those every day. :)

Then we went to the dollar movies and saw The Bucket List. That movie was SO MUCH BETTER than I expected it to be! I laughed, I cried, I thought deeply about what is most important in life. If you haven't seen it, see it. You won't regret it.

So today makes 39 weeks! I cannot believe that we are one week away from our due date! (I'll wait to post a belly picture until tomorrow, since that will be 9 months.) I'm almost certain he has turned anterior (meaning he is facing the back), which is the ideal position for birthing. He also seems to be dropping a bit, so hopefully he'll be coming soon! :)

And just so you don't worry, I have put my blog sign-in information on a post-it note next to the computer, so whoever comes home from the hospital first after the baby is born can post a note on here letting you know about it! You'll all know as soon as possible when we have news!

Playing with Daddy

We had the sweetest experience last night, and I just had to share about it on here! We were laying in bed talking before turning out the light last night, and Justin had his hand resting on my belly. He unconsciously started rubbing my belly, and we were both surprised when Eli started responding! Whenever Justin would rub his hand over Eli's feet, Eli would move them in response! Then Justin said "Let's see what he does when I rub in a circle..." and Eli responded with a HUGE kick! It was so hilarious, and the surprised look of joy on Justin's face was awesome! Then it bowled me over when Justin said, "Hey! We're playing!" I was laughing so hard, though, that it disrupted playtime. But it was so sweet and special last night to have the first of many, many times that Eli will be playing with his Daddy. :)

Appointment Today

I had a doctor's appointment today, and there's no news! Last night I started having pretty regular contractions - about every 15 minutes - and they continued all night and even now. So I thought that might be an indication that things are getting started. However, the doc did an internal exam, and she said nothing's happening in there yet. (No dilation at all.) Soooo, although the contractions are a good sign that things are happening, it could still be weeks before anything actually does. OR it could all happen at once right away. So, you just never know! We're just going to keep doing what we're doing and praying that he comes at the right time. The good news is that my belly measurement didn't give the doc any concern, and so she said it'll be fine to wait for another ultrasound until my appointment next Tuesday. So please pray that either he comes before then or that the ultrasound shows that he hasn't grown so much that the doctors are going to give us a hard time about not inducing or opting for a c-section!

As If I Needed an Excuse to Indulge...

I saw this article in a Baby Center newsletter update, and I just HAD to laugh. As if I needed an excuse to indulge in chocolate!!!

It's an article released by Reuters last Monday titled:

"Chocolate may ward off pregnancy complication"

Oh yeah. Here are a few key excerpts:

Indulging in chocolate during pregnancy could help ward off a serious complication known as preeclampsia, new research suggests.

Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, is rich in a chemical called theobromine, which stimulates the heart, relaxes smooth muscle and dilates blood vessels, and has been used to treat chest pain, high blood pressure, and hardening of the arteries, Dr. Elizabeth W. Triche of Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut and colleagues write.

Preeclampsia, in which blood pressure spikes during pregnancy while excess protein is released into the urine, has many features in common with heart disease, the researchers add.

Women who consumed the most chocolate and those whose infants had the highest concentration of theobromine in their cord blood were the least likely to develop preeclampsia. Women in the highest quarter for cord blood theobromine were 69 percent less likely to develop the complication than those in the lowest quarter.

Women who ate five or more servings of chocolate each week in their third trimester of pregnancy were 40 percent less likely to develop preeclampsia than those who ate chocolate less than once a week.

As ashamed as I should be to admit it, I'm pretty sure I qualify as a woman who ate 5 or more servings of chocolate each week in my third trimester. And I have been remarkably healthy with no signs whatsoever of preeclampsia... So bring on the chocolate!!! :)

38 Weeks

I was too lazy to get a picture yesterday, so technically this is my "38 weeks and 1 day" picture. I almost didn't bother taking it because I didn't think a week would make much of a difference. But I think my belly looks WAAAAY bigger in this picture than it did last week. Maybe it's just the shirt and the way the gathers are bunching on my belly. But dude! I'm huge!

Every Saturday night we have to decide where we want to go to church in the morning. We haven't found a church that we love and want to be a part of, and we haven't really been looking for that, since we don't think we're in this area permanently. However, as we were discussing last night where to go and what we might like to do in the weeks ahead, the thought struck me that by next Sunday, we could have a baby. That is freaking me out a little! I mean, I do want him to come this week if he's ready. My mother-in-law is convinced that he'll be born next Sunday, on Mother's Day - I think that would be sweet, but I also wouldn't mind if I was ALREADY a mother by Mother's Day... But then at the same time, we might not be getting ready to go to church next Sunday morning because we have a newborn in the house?!?!?!?! WHOA! This may or may not make any sense. Just sharing what's going on in that crazy head o' mine.

Nursery is READY!

We've been gathering and organizing things for Eli's nursery, and now I think it's finally ready! So I thought I'd post a few pictures of the space we've created for the little man. This clearly won't be his permanent nursery, since it's in my in-laws' house. But they have been so kind in allowing us to set things up exactly how we want them, and I think it's going to be perfect for the first part of his life!His area isn't a room, it's a hallway loft. Our bedroom is on the left and the room Justin has been using as an office is on the right. I wanted him to be as close as possible without actually being in our room, so his little pack-n-play is right on the other side of the wall from where I'll be sleeping! We're waiting to buy his nursery furniture until we actually have a nursery to put it in. In the meantime, I think the pack-n-play with the bassinet insert will be just fine. I like him being out in the hallway too, because then I should be able to hear him even if I'm downstairs. We do have both audio and video baby monitors, but still!
I also wanted to make sure to get a close-up shot of the wall hanging that his Aunt Nicole made for him. SOOOOO cute! She made it to match his bedding set (You can see pieces of it in the tablecloth and lampshade.), and it is just adorable! I actually got teary-eyed when we put it up on the wall because it was so sweet and just a reminder that there will actually be a little Elias here to claim that area SOON!So we are excited and (I think!) just about as ready as people can get. I am getting more physically uncomfortable the bigger he gets and the more Braxton-Hicks contractions I'm having. So I still wouldn't call myself READY, but I'm getting there. :) I'd put my current status as "If he arrives today, that would be ok with me."

Drumroll, Please!!!!!

We had our doctor's appointment and ultrasound today. The little man is beautiful and looking great, and according to the ultrasound, he's currently weighing in at..............................

8 lbs., 9 oz.!

Er, that's pretty big. Just as a point of reference, average babies at 37 1/2 weeks gestation will be about 6 1/2 pounds. Many babies are BORN weighing less than 8 1/2 pounds. But my (big!) little man is weighing in at this with still almost 3 weeks to go before his due date.

*As another qualifying reference, though, the doctor told us that there is a 10% margin of error with the estimated weight on an ultrasound. So, really Eli currently weighs anywhere between 7 lbs, 11 oz and 9 lbs, 7 oz. Yeah, that's helpful.

Here are a couple pictures from today.This one is basically his whole body in profile - head on the right, back going along the bottom of the picture, and leg/knee on the left. The ultrasound tech showed us a close-up of his little belly because you can see his little fat rolls on his belly from being squished up in there! Soooooooo cute!!!
And this is just a closer profile of his head and chest. He had his hand in his mouth for most of the ultrasound, so in case it looks a little wonky, he may be sucking on some fingers!

The good news, besides the fact that he is healthy and beautiful, is that the doctor is not YET concerned about how much he weighs. She wants me to come back in 10 days for another ultrasound to see how much he has grown. She said they're not going to get really concerned until he starts pushing 10 pounds. (As you know, I'm not even going to be concerned then, but that's when they're going to start really pushing me to at least induce, if not just schedule a c-section.) This is something he may do if he actually reaches his due date. So, the doctor agreed with us in just hoping he comes early and we don't have to worry about it! So we'd appreciate any prayers anybody would like to offer up that he decides to make his appearance early.

And if anybody has any old wives' tales about how to make a baby come, I'd love to hear them... We're definitely going out for eggplant parmesan this week, which supposedly sends many women into labor. Any other ideas? :)

Jesus is Enough

We visited a new church yesterday, Basswood Church in Knoxville. It was small, but I loved it. However, the purpose of this post is not to talk about the church, it's to talk about the sermon. I tell you what, this was the perfect sermon for me and my situation, and so I want to share a little bit of it with you.

The basic theme of the sermon was "Jesus is enough." Besides several Scriptures from the Gospel of John, another thing the pastor used to sum up the concept well was the first question and answer from the Heidelberg Catechism:

Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?

A. That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, in life and in death—to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.

Growing up Southern Baptist, I'm not incredibly familiar with catechisms, but I believe they can be really valuable in understanding and expressing doctrine. This particular question and answer just blows me away. Really the most significant part of it to me at the moment is the fourth word of the question: ONLY. What is your ONLY comfort in life and in death? And the short answer to that question is Jesus.

As many of you know, we have suffered a series of heartbreaking and unexplainable disappointments in Justin's search for a job and a place for us to get settled. We never imagined we would be home from Moldova for more than 4 months and still not know where we were supposed to be and what we were supposed to be doing. We still cling to faith that God knows what He has for us, and it will be revealed in His time, but that is HARD and some days are worse than others for us. We had one especially shattering disappointment last week that sent us both reeling - there is absolutely no reason on earth why this place wouldn't have hired Justin. But they didn't, and it's easy to get discouraged and even start to despair.

But God used the sermon this week to really call my attention to the fact that when I allow news about a job to shake me so much, that shows me that I am not allowing my only hope and comfort in life to be in Christ alone. This is something that I confess and want to do better about. But the truth is that the story doesn't end there - I failed, repent, and will try to do better - but that's not what I'm trying to say with this post. The real message that I'm trying to get across here is not my own short-sightedness, but Christ's all-surpassing sufficiency.

The reality is that JESUS IS ENOUGH. A job for Justin, a home of our own, even a healthy baby - all of these are good things but they are not worthy of my hope. They cannot provide me comfort in life and in death. That amazing list in the catechism answer of all that Christ has done and continues to do for me, THAT is what is worthy of my hope and what is my ONLY valid comfort in life. When I allow Christ to be my only comfort and joy, the other things just aren't as important, and He opens my eyes to see how BLESSED we are even without them. Although our circumstances aren't what we would choose, we lack for nothing because God has richly provided all our needs for us, and I believe that there are parts about this time in our life that we will miss once we move on to the next thing.

I do believe that the things we long for will come to us - God promises in His Word that He knows the plans He has for us and they are plans for our prosperity, welfare, and hope (Jer. 29:11). But in the meantime I am content to wait for His perfect will to be revealed for us, because I already have everything I need both in this life and for all eternity: Christ Himself.

37 Weeks!

Not only is reaching 37 weeks today exciting because it means we only have 3 weeks left until the due date. It's also exciting because it means that Elias is officially FULL TERM, and all we have left to do is wait for him to come! I plan to start taking pictures every week now, since we don't know if I'll make it to May 11 in order to take my "9 Months" photo. So here's what Eli and I look like now:You'll also notice that I've already gotten my "mommy haircut." Most women don't get their mommy cut until after the baby is born, but when I went to get my final trim before the baby comes, she cut it shorter than I had imagined. So, oh well. Now I'm already ahead of the ballgame! :) So come on anytime, sweet Eli!

Appointment Today

I had another doctor's appointment today, and I'm still healthy as can be! So that's good news! They're actually surprised at how well I'm doing with my weight and my blood pressure, so praise God for both of those things!

I met another one of the obstetricians who may be delivering Elias, and he was a lot more easygoing about my birth plan, so that was encouraging. What was not encouraging, though, was that he was also talking about how concerned he was about Eli's size and wanting me to consider an elective c-section. I'm not going to post any more on how I feel about this - I think all of my readers know where I stand. :) However, Justin has posted an excellent post on his blog with data and statistics about big babies and c-sections, so check that out. Based on his concern, however, the doctor requested that we get an ultrasound next week to try to estimate how big Eli is now. Although I don't believe the ultrasound could be accurate enough to convince me that I should schedule a c-section, I am looking forward to getting to see Eli's sweet face again! I ask you to pray, though, that the ultrasound doesn't show that he's ridiculously huge, that we'll be able to reason with the doctors about why we don't want to elect a c-section (especially this early in the game), and that we continue to trust God for my health and Eli's. Next week we'll be meeting with the third and final obstetrician who may be delivering Eli, so maybe she'll be very cooperative and understanding about what we want to do and why.

Just to Clarify...

I don't think I did a good job of expressing the intention of my previous post, "Choosing to Trust," and so I wanted to write a little bit more about it. What I was trying to do is share with my friends and family the way I feel like God is telling me I can best glorify Him at this stage in my pregnancy, and ask for their support and prayers. What I was NOT trying to do is express any kind of judgment on what anybody else should do in their own lives. I was in no way trying to say that anybody who chooses to induce, have a c-section, or use other interventions is in any way unspiritual, and I don't know if I made that clear before. I have neither the right nor the desire to judge anybody else for deciding to do what they feel is best for their child and family. We have some good friends who are godly and faithful people, and they recently chose a c-section for the birth of their baby. I support them 100% in their choice, and their child is now beautiful and healthy.

I think that there are very few, if any, absolutes in today's world of birthing and parenting. There is no one right way to do anything, but it is up to each believer to seek the Lord about how to best glorify Him with each decision. I have some pretty strong convictions about the way I want to birth and parent my own child, but God may change my circumstances and reveal other truth to me as time progresses. I need to be humble enough to confess that God knows everything, but I don't.

As Paul expressed in Romans 14, what may be right for me may be wrong for someone else and vice versa. He says clearly, though, that it would definitely be wrong for me to judge another believer for having different convictions than mine, as long as neither of ours goes expressly against Scripture.

"Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." - verse 4

Instead, we are to love, support, and encourage one another in our pursuit of God.

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." - verse 19

So I just wanted to make it clear that the opinions expressed on this blog are just my own personal convictions, and not meant as any kind of lecture or judgment on anybody else. As the Body of Christ in this unbelieving world, it is much more important to me that we pray for each other and encourage each other to seek to glorify God in all of our decisions, even when we don't necessarily agree about each particular decision.

Wiggle Worm

So I've come to the conclusion that Elias must really like going to church! For the past 3 Sundays, at different churches in different cities, he has been REALLY ACTIVE all through church! Maybe he likes the music, or maybe he's just highly spiritually sensitive even in the womb. Either way, it's fun for me to worship with him as he dances and leaps for joy before the Lord. :)

Choosing to Trust

When I had my doctor's appointment last week, the doctor confirmed what we've already known - that Elias is running big for his gestation, and if he goes all the way to his due date or beyond, he could be REALLY big. So the doctor was pretty pushy about wanting me to be open to the idea of inducing or even considering an elective c-section if the baby gets too big. This goes completely against what I want to do - I've always believed that the baby would come when he is ready and I'm not going to make him come before that. But the doctor said some pretty scary things that could happen if the baby is too big and doesn't fit through my pelvic bone, and he got me kind of upset and worried about it. So after spending a few days pondering and praying about the situation, here's how I feel about it:

God is in control, and I trust Him completely.

God is the one who put this baby in my womb. He formed all his little parts and breathed life into him. God knew his name before I did, and He has numbered all the days of his life. God loves Elias even more than I do, and He wants what is best for him.

Not only this, but God made me. He created my body to be the exact size that it is, and He placed in my body the ability to carry a pregnancy and give birth to a child. He loves me completely and wants what is best for me.

As amazing as the science of obstetrics is in our world today, we still just don't have the technology to be able to accurately predict exactly when a baby's "due date" is, how big he is in the womb at each stage of development, how big he will be when he is born, or whether or not he will fit through his mother's body in the birthing process. We have enough technology to make guesses, but they're very rarely completely accurate.

However, there is Someone who knows exactly what Elias' birth day will be, how big he is now, how big he will be when he is born, and whether or not he will fit. In fact, this Someone not only knows all these things, but He is the one who decided them in the first place. Since I believe that God is a good and loving God who created both me and Elias and wants what is best for us, I believe He will make our process of birthing to be the best it can possibly be for us. If He does allow some kind of complication to occur, I trust Him with that. I will still do all I can to take care of myself and Elias in order to control what I can about the process, but I know that the outcome is completely in God's hands, and I wouldn't want them anywhere else. So as we wait to learn what Elias' birth day will be and how big he will be, I choose not to worry about any complications. God is good and will give us the grace to have exactly the birthing that He wants us to have.

I'd appreciate your prayers that I can continue to trust God and resist the temptation to worry! (And if you want to offer up any prayers that Eli comes early or doesn't grow too big, you're welcome to do that too!) :)

Group B Strep

I had a doctor's appointment today, and they told me that I've tested positive for Group B Strep. I mentioned in last week's post that I had had the test done, but I had never really done any research about it because I just assumed I wouldn't have it. So, after learning today that I DO, I decided I needed to know more about it. First of all, it's fairly common (about 25% of all pregnant women test positive), and NOT a big deal. All it means is that I carry this specific bacteria, and so I'll need to be treated with antibiotics during labor in order to prevent passing it on to Eli. This bacteria is not very dangerous for me - it could result in bladder/womb infections, but the antibiotic treatment should prevent that. However, it could be very dangerous for the baby, so that's why it's so important to be tested and treated. With the antibiotics during labor, there's only a 1 in 4,000 chance that Eli will still be infected. That seems pretty low to me - even without treatment it's only 1 or 2 in 200. So when I go into labor or when my water breaks, I'll need to go to the hospital and they'll put me on IV antibiotics. It's best if I can have the antibiotics for at least 4 hours before the baby is born just to allow for complete saturation. Then, they'll want to keep us in the hospital at least 48 hours after he's born just to observe him closely and make sure he didn't get it. But that's all! No big deal and nothing to worry about. Really the only thing I'm disappointed about is having to have the IV during labor - I HATE NEEDLES and really wanted to avoid this if at all possible. But now I know and I have time to get used to the fact that this is just how it has to be. Really, I'm very thankful to have caught it so I can be treated and help keep Eli as healthy as he can be!

You can read more about Group B Strep here if you're interested.

Besides that, everything else is looking fine. Weight gain, blood pressure, belly measurements, etc. are all right on track for the big baby we're expecting. His heartbeat was great. My appointment today was actually with one of the OB's who could be on call to deliver Eli. He was very nice although not incredibly supportive of my natural childbirth desires. But from what I understand about the childbirth process in a hospital, the OB is only actually there to catch the baby at the very end and he doesn't have much if anything to do with the laboring process. Sooooo, I hate to dismiss the things a trained medical professional says, but I already know that the nursing staff in the hospital will be much more supportive of my desires, and they're the ones who will actually be there at the time. And we can just pray that the other OB's will be more supportive and that this particular one won't be on call the day Eli is born!! :)

Ready?!

So now that we're getting close to D-Day and I'm getting huge, I've started getting people asking me, "So, are you ready?" Some even put it more as a statement like "Wow, I bet you sure are ready for him to be born!" I guess the norm is that a woman as pregnant as I am is uncomfortable enough to want the baby to come on outta there. However, that is just not the case for me. I am completely loving being pregnant, and I'm almost reluctant for it to end. I'll miss feeling him kick and feeling him get the hiccups. I'll miss being able to just sit and watch my belly jump and twitch when the little man is active. I'll miss the way people always have an extra smile for me in public, and the way complete strangers seem to just want to be nicer to me.

I know, I know. Being a mother is going to be an immensely rewarding blessing, and I AM looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to seeing his face and looking into his eyes. I'm looking forward to cuddling and breastfeeding and rocking and singing. I'm looking forward to being trusted and needed the way only a mother can be. I think what I'm most looking forward to is seeing Justin as a daddy. I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about that.

But at the same time, I'm pretty scared about it all. It's going to be a BIG change and a BIG responsibility. How could a person ever actually think they're "ready" to become a parent for the first time?! I guess I just feel like I LIKE being pregnant, and I know how to handle the unpleasant things about it. And now just when I'm liking it and getting used to it all, it has to end and I have to learn another whole set of skills! I guess I'm not really worried that it will be too hard or that I won't be able to do it - it's just the change, the unknown that has me scared. I have no idea what it's going to be like. But I do believe that God has already put in me the mothering instinct that will tell me how to care for my baby, and I believe that He will enable both Justin and I to have the grace and strength and patience to endure the adjustment period. I also know that I have lots of good resources in my family and friends to help whenever we need it!

So although I KNOW everything is going to be fine, I'm still a long way from being able to say I'm "ready" for the change. No matter whether I'm ready or not, he's going to come when he comes and that'll be it! Not really any choice on whether or not I can just stay pregnant indefinitely... And who knows? Maybe in another couple of weeks, I WILL be more uncomfortable and "ready" for him to come out no matter what!!!

8 Months!!

Besides the fact that I cannot believe it's already time for my 8-month bump photo, I also cannot believe how gigantic my bump is! I'm huge! And still another month to go! :)

Consignment Sale

This evening in Knoxville, we were able to go to a HUGE consignment sale that was just stuff for kids/babies. The sale doesn't actually start until tomorrow, but first-time moms were able to register to come in early and get the good stuff. So Justin and I spent 2 hours there tonight looking through all of the stuff, and we found some majorly good deals! We got:

- an umbrella stroller
- an infant sleep positioner
- a baby monitor
- a microwave steam sterilizer
- a terrycloth changing pad cover
- 4 hooded bath towels
- 2 sleep gowns
- a pair of baby jeans
- 3 newborn-sized onesies with a matching pair of pants
- a striped romper

I looked on walmart.com to see how much it would've cost us to buy all this new: $115.44, plus tax.

How much did we pay for it all? $28. Thank you, consignment!!! :)

Edited to add: This sale was absolutely gigantic. We arrived there 10 minutes before the doors opened, and there were already at least 100 people in line ahead of us to get in. By the time the doors opened, there were at least 100 more behind us. Then after we had been shopping for about an hour, we noticed that the checkout line was getting long - in fact, wrapping all the way around the store back to the entrance! So Justin got in line and waited with the stuff while I kept shopping and just bringing him things. He ended up waiting in line for a whole hour before we made it to the front. But I found some good bargains while he was waiting in line, and I'm VERY thankful he was there. If I had been doing that myself, I would've been a disaster trying to tote everything around and shop and THEN wait in line for hours. It was really hot in there (NOT a good idea with all the pregnant women!), so we were all sweating. Justin said that he saw several people just abandoning the stuff they had been planning on buying because they couldn't stand waiting in that line. Thank you for your help, sweetheart!

Appointment Today!

I just wanted to get on here and write a quick note about my doctor's appointment today. Everything's looking great and we're doing fine! They did the test for Group B Strep today, so I should get the results for that at my next appointment. (If it turns out positive, that means I'll need to have antibiotics during the delivery to avoid infecting the baby, but it's not a big deal either way.) I also had my first cervical exam today - OUCH! No dilation at all yet, but she said my cervix is definitely getting softer. She was also able to clearly tell that Eli is in the head-down position, so there was no need for an ultrasound. I'm a little disappointed just because I wanted to be able to see him again, but I'm glad he's so clearly in position! From now until Eli comes I'll be going in every week! For the next 3 weeks I'll see a different doctor each time so that I'll actually have met all of the people who may be delivering my baby. It could be any of the 3 of them, depending on who is on call that day. So it'll be nice to at least be able to have MET the doctor before he/she is down there catching Eli! :) So praise God for a good visit - things are going great!

Second Baby Shower!

On Saturday, we had our second baby shower at my parents' house in Cincinnati! I was very blessed that my grandmother and aunt drove in from Chicago, as well as several other family members who live in the Cincinnati area. And what was really nice was that my mom's whole small group from church came, so it ended up being a pretty big party!
This is me with my sister and mom, the hostesses of the shower. You can see in the background of this photo that there is a line of pictures taped to the mantel. These were the results of the first party game we played at the shower. Jessica, my sister, had taken several photos of me and Justin, and she asked each person to cut and paste different features from our faces to assemble what they thought Eli would look like. The results were hilarious and slightly scary. One of them looked just like a guy I did summer missions with once. Hopefully Eli will get all our best qualities and combine them all to look mostly human!
Another fun game we played was where everyone had to guess how many times a Big Roll of Charmin toilet paper would go around my big ol' belly. Then the guests took turns wrapping the roll around my belly until it was out. The above picture is my grandma TP-ing me... She's the one who ended up winning this game. She guessed it right on the nose: 15 times!
We also ate delicious snacks, cake, and punch, and then opened presents! I'm SO thankful for all of the wonderful stuff people gave us! Since most of our registry items could only be bought online, many people ended up just getting us baby clothes, which is GREAT because we didn't have much before! So now Eli is outfitted in style! You can click on the picture of all the gifts below to enlarge it and see them better.The other gifts of note are the things my mom embroidered for Eli. You can see a stack of burp cloths that she personalized for him on the right side of the table. She also embroidered a blanket for him that you can see the corner of hanging off in the front. The best thing, though, is the onesie she embroidered for him that's sitting right overtop of the "John" on the blanket. It says "Eli's comin', hide your (heart) girl!" Now that is CUTE!!!

Many, many thanks to all who have come to showers for us and given us gifts! We appreciate it so much! It's starting to feel like we may actually be ready for him to arrive soon! This is a good thing since we're quickly approaching just a MONTH till Due-day!

First Baby Shower!

I am very blessed to have a caring and generous family who wants to throw me baby showers! The first shower was last Saturday in Madisonville, KY with Justin's family. Justin's mom and sister planned the event, his Aunt Linda hosted it and provided the food, and his cousin Donna made the cake. We had a great time together, and we were able to see some family that we hadn't seen in over 2 years! Eli is so blessed to be born into such a loving family.
This is the food table that Aunt Linda set up. It was quite a delicious spread, and the cake was sweet that said "Welcome Baby Eli." Linda even pulled out the glass dishes and linen napkins for this event! Very fun and fancy!
My mother- and sister-in-law did a great job decorating and planning games. You can see in the above picture that they bought some baby boy clothes and strung them up on a clothesline as decorations, then they gave them to Eli! They also bought the lamp that matches our nursery bedding, and that was part of the decor too. You can see it on the table next to me. And Nicole, my sister-in-law, does stamping, and she made the adorable candle holders you can see around the lamp for prizes for the games. It was so much fun and really cute!
And they gave us so much stuff! We received almost everything for the nursery decor, including the bedding set, sheets, blankets, mobile, and lamp. Another special gift you can see on the left side of the table underneath the gifts. It is a white baby afghan that was crocheted by Justin's Memaw (his mother's mother). Memaw passed away before I was a part of Justin's life, but she left behind several baby blankets for future babies in the family, so we're thankful to be able to have that little part of Memaw in Eli's life. And there are so many other wonderful and thoughtful gifts. Thank you to all of Justin's family who gave us so many great things!

Now we're in Ohio with my family, and they're going to throw me a shower this Saturday. My aunt and grandmother are even driving down from Chicago to come! So I'm looking forward to being able to see more family and have more baby shower fun!

Ready to Pop or Just Fat?

On Monday, Justin and I went to Wendy's for lunch. We were entering the building at the same time as one of the Wendy's employees who was coming back in from her smoke break. As she stood back to let us pass, she looked at me and said, "Whoa! You look like you're about to pop! When are you due?" I told her that I was only 7 1/2 months along, and I wasn't due till mid-May. She was like "Oh man, you're huge." Well, gee, thanks. So then we went in and she got right behind the register and took our order. I had been considering getting a frosty and some french fries, but after her comment I got my healthy salad and chili! I mean, I do feel pretty big, but I'm going to get a lot bigger before I get any smaller!

On the other hand, though, less than two weeks ago, we ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant. After we ate, I was resting my hand on my belly the way I usually do these days. The waitress came by and said, "I see you're holding your stomach, are you ok?" I guess maybe she was worried the food made me sick. I told her I was pregnant and just resting my hand on my belly. She looked me over and said "Really? How far along are you? Congratulations!" So I guess she didn't think I looked big enough to be pregnant. Just fat, I guess...

But I don't think that in 2 weeks I've gotten all that much bigger, so I guess largeness is in the eye of the beholder. I can definitely tell that Eli is growing fast these days, though. His kicks and movements have gotten a lot stronger, in fact, finally strong enough to be painful or uncomfortable. This combined with the fact that he's moving ALL THE TIME now makes me one uncomfortable mama half the time! I've started saying that he must've decided he wants to burrow his way out through my belly instead of waiting to be born the usual way. Take it easy in there, little man! Still more than 5 weeks before you're considered full term! From what I've read, the bigger he gets, the more squished he'll be and the harder it will be for him to move around a lot. Keep your fingers crossed with me that he doesn't keep up his current rate of movement until he's born! Sheesh!

Happy Easter!

We had a really nice Easter with family, and we actually took a couple pictures! (Thanks to Justin's mom who brought her camera!) So I thought I'd post them for your viewing pleasure. We went to church at Fellowship Church in Knoxville, where my sister-in-law (Nicole) and her family go. It was a nice service and very enjoyable. I needed something calm and quiet after yesterday...

Yesterday, Nicole, David (her husband), and I went to a special Easter presentation at a different church in Knoxville, and I have to say I did NOT enjoy it. It was really graphic and actually quite scary, but the biggest problem I had with it was that it was WAY TOO LOUD!!! I actually spent most of the service with my arms around my belly trying to protect Eli from the noise! When I got home, I got online and researched to see if a baby's hearing could be damaged by exposure like that in utero, and I found that it would only be a problem if it was all the time. (The uterus and amniotic fluid muffle most outside noise. Actually, the noise of my heart beating and other bodily functions are louder to him than pretty much anything going on outside of me.) So I'll rest assured that Eli won't suffer any permanent damage from yesterday... It'll take ME longer to get over than him. But he was REALLY active for the whole evening yesterday, so I think the noise did make some impact on him!

Anyways, after church this morning we headed to Sonny's Bar-B-Q, which is a favorite in the Tapp family. I had never had Sonny's until I married Justin, and I have to tell ya, I didn't know what I was missing. That's some really, REALLY good barbecue. So after lunch we took a few pictures to commemorate the day.

Justin & me. We hadn't realized it, but this is one of the only pictures we have of us together since I've been pregnant!

Nicole, David, and their son Joshua. I like this picture because David is wearing the outfit he wore as a groomsman in our wedding - he decided to wear it because it matched the outfit they got Joshua to wear. Aren't they cute?!

Joshua giggling with his Nana. I think this picture is adorable!

Since I Haven't Posted in a While...

...I thought I'd post the results of the quiz I took: What Holiday Are You? These usually are pretty random results, but this one hit the nail on the head.

You Are Thanksgiving

You are a bit of a homebody who enjoys being in the company of people you love. It doesn't take a lot to make you happy. You're enjoying life as it is. You have many blessings in your life, and you are grateful for each one. You believe that life is about what you *do* have. You feel like you have enough of the good stuff. What makes you celebrate: Family, friends, and the changing of the seasons. At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The host of the party On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Spend so much energy preparing that it's a full time job

What Holiday Are You?

The Greatest Man I Know

My husband is a great man. He is loving, caring, and kind. He is smart and a deep thinker. He is the hardest worker I've ever seen, and he has such a servant's heart! He has a Master's degree in something that he is passionate about, and he longs to be able to use his training and abilities to make a difference in God's Kingdom. God, however, is choosing to lead us through a time of waiting and uncertainty before He shows us how He plans to use Justin's amazing gifts. So my husband is humble enough that he is willing to take a job that he is WAAAAAY overqualified for so that he can provide for me and our coming son.

My precious husband has taken a job as a delivery driver at Pizza Hut, but he spends more time washing dishes and making pizzas than delivering them. However, I know my husband. When they ask him to mop the floor, he says "Sure." When they ask him to wash the dishes, he says "No problem." In fact, he probably just sees the dirty dishes and washes them without being asked, because that's the kind of guy he is. I guarantee he is the best worker Pizza Hut has, and they probably don't even recognize what a jewel he is.

It brings tears to my eyes to see my talented, amazing husband in a job like this that wears on his body and puts no use to his abilities. But he is so wonderful that he doesn't complain, and he just works as much as he can and brings home a paycheck. I am so proud of him.

The value of a man isn't judged by how much money he makes or how much power he has. A man's value is determined by his character, and that makes my husband the greatest man I know.

I love you so much, my sweetheart!

7 Months!

I can't believe it's already time to be posting my 7-month picture! But it is, so here I am!He sure is growing in there!

All I Have

Just after we returned from Moldova, I found a devotional book in a used bookstore called Expecting Joy: Devotions for Mothers-to-Be. This has been a wonderful addition to my quiet times, and it almost always has something that really applies to my situation. This morning's devotional was so good that I just want to post the whole thing - it particularly speaks to me, but it could apply to anyone's situation.

All I Have
All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on. Luke 21:4

A group of 18- to 25-year-olds, full of the Lord and full of His strength, came to help our new church. They sowed random acts of kindness to show the love of God and to make our church's presence known in the community. There were service projects, free car washes, soda and orange juice giveaways, one-on-one witnessing, and a free family festival. I participated fully with these young people, known as the "E-Team" (Evangelism Team). I experienced all of the fun and all of the work.
A year later, when the E-Team came again, my situation was different. I was pregnant, with a mid-wife's orders to take it easy. I was supposed to be resting, so how could I wash cars, paint and clean for a local ministry, and stand on a street corner giving away soda? My husband, my pastor, and many of the E-Teamers insisted that I stay home. They used my home for meals and a meeting place so I saw them at the end of each day when they returned full of excitement. I rejoiced in what God was doing through them, but a part of me was sad because I was not able to do it with them.
The E-Teamers were youthful and strong, giving their all out of the abundance of their energies. I, on the other hand, was exhausted after only wiping the kitchen counter. I felt like I was lying around doing nothing; I wanted to do so much more.
The story of the widow's offering in Luke 21 offers encouragement for situations like mine. The widow did her part, which was valuable in the sight of the Lord. In the same way, I was doing my part, which was also valuable in His sight. My part happened to be equivalent to about two very small, copper coins (Luke 21:2). But at that time, it was all I could give.
Our season of life changes when we have children. We are about to give birth to little lives that need to be loved and discipled day after day. It starts with the dirty diapers and 2 a.m. feedings. Then it grows into questions like: "Where do butterflies come from?" And progresses to questions like: "What is heaven, and will I go there?" This is the time to focus our energy at home. God will give us opportunities to share our faith and serve others, but it's okay if it isn't the same method that it used to be. God is faithful to use us where we are.
These days will not last forever; they will fly by. Before we realize were the time went, our children will be the ones out there doing service projects - full of energy and full of the presence of the Lord, giving all they have to serve God.

For further study ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

What a beautiful story and a beautiful way to capture the transition of this time. I have been discouraged because I feel like our uncertain circumstances and my physical limitations are keeping me from being able to do anything useful for anybody. But God knows my circumstances... Not only does He know them, but He Himself chose them for me. So He knows what I'm capable of and asks only that I do my best for Him with what I have. Right now, what I have may not seem like much, but I want to use it to honor Him. So I will keep a joyful heart, love and encourage my husband in every way that I can, and keep my body and spirit healthy in order to allow Eli to have the best start he can. It may only be worth 2 cents, but that's all I have to give, and God is pleased when I do.

One "Hip" Little Dude!

In the past couple of weeks, my son has discovered his new favorite play toy: my left hip bone!!! He jabs and grabs that thing for all he's worth! Ouch! From what I can tell, he's still head down and face out, which means that it's his powerful right hook that's getting me in the left hip. He's one strong little sucker! Whenever he does it, I literally jerk to get away as if someone were jabbing me from the outside. Unfortunately, since he's doing it from the inside, he just moves with me and there's no getting away. I can usually dig my hand into my hip from the outside and dislodge his little fist, which gives me at least a few minutes of comfort before he moves it right back. My silly little man. :)

In other news, I have been reading about how you should talk, read, and sing to your babies in the womb because it will help them learn to recognize your voice and get comfort from you once they're outside the womb. I've been talking to him long before he could even hear me. But now I've decided to start reading Scripture to him during my morning quiet times. I've always enjoyed reading Scripture aloud - it helps me keep my focus and to really hear the meaning of the verse in a way I might not get just reading it silently. But now I can see benefits for Elias too! Not only do I want him to get used to the sound of me reading to him, but I think it's never to early to start soaking him in the Word of God! I love the thought that I can already be influencing his spiritual walk even before he is born!

And finally, don't forget that this Sunday is Daylight Savings Time! Make sure to Spring your clocks one hour forward, or else you might be arriving at church just as the service is ending! I'm posting this on here in the hopes that it will help me remember too!

Our Life This Week

Today we had an appointment at the hospital for our tour of the birthing center where Elias will be born! So we got to see the birthing rooms and walked through the process of what it will be like when we're there just over 2 months from now! It's a beautiful facility, and I think it's going to be a great experience. They do a lot of the things I was hoping for, and so I'm very glad after this visit. We were also supposed to start our childbirth classes tonight, but our instructor has the flu. Sooooo, we'll be starting next week.

I haven't posted much recently because there isn't much to report! The only new thing I can think of in the life of me and Eli is that he's started getting the hiccups! It's usually at night when I'm laying in bed that I can feel them. Get those lungs strong in there, little man! :)

Besides that, the biggest news I have is that I actually cooked and ate salmon tonight... And I liked it! I've only eaten fish one other time since I've been pregnant, and it made me sick. But I started thinking maybe salmon might be ok, so I made barbecue salmon and it was great! Of course, anything in barbecue sauce is going to be good!