Happy First Father's Day!

I just wanted to wish a Happy First Father's Day to my sweet husband. You have blown me away with the kind of Daddy you are. You love our son in a way it never even occurred to me that you would. I love the way you just want to spend time with him, sing to him, read to him, play with him, or hold him - just that you want to be so involved in his life. I love the way you take responsibility for the spiritual health of our household and the way you pray for him every day.Thank you also for making being a mommy so much easier for me. You listen when I need to vent my emotions, and then you offer me a voice of reason which I need desperately. You always have a hug and encouraging word for me. You do the dishes and make dinner, and you even make me breakfast every morning! I would be completely lost without you, and I hope that I convey to you every day how thankful I am to God for giving me such an amazing man to partner with in this journey of parenthood.
I love you and I'm proud of the daddy you are and the daddy you will become as Elias grows older. I can't wait to see him grow up to be just like you!

Out and About

We're finally getting to the point where we're able to take Elias out and about with us! This week we have been two different places as a family (besides the doctor's office, of course).

On Thursday we went to WalMart and did grocery shopping! We made sure to tell him that WalMart is Mommy's favorite place, and this is only the first of THOUSANDS of times he'll be at WalMart with me. (Thankfully, there IS a WalMart in the small town we're moving to in Missouri!) He did well and slept most of the time we were at the store. It was his naptime, and it's nice that he'll nap in his carseat for us.

Then today we went out to eat for the first time! The restaurant around the corner from us had a Father's Day special where fathers eat free with the purchase of another meal. So we took advantage of that! Elias slept most of the time in his carseat there too, although he did enjoy the nice muzak playing before he drifted off. I am INCREDIBLY mad at myself that I forgot the camera, though, so I don't have a picture of his first time at a restaurant. Hopefully we'll get a pic next time we go out...

But it's nice to be able to start getting out again. It makes me feel more like a human being, and I know it's good for him too.

Like a Weaned Child

Yesterday as I was changing Elias' diaper trying to get him to wake up to finish a feeding, he did wake up, realized he was still hungry, and started screaming his head off. This is not an unusual occurrence. However, this particular time, a Psalm popped into my head:

Psalm 131

1 O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, hope in the LORD
from this time forth and forevermore.

A child who is still nursing doesn't understand delayed gratification. If he's hungry, he screams until he is satisfied. For the most part, a child who has been weaned can sit patiently and wait for his mother to bring food. And this is how we should be with God. Like weaned children, we wait patiently for the Lord to bring us what He knows we need. Crying and fussing over not receiving answers to our prayers just shows our immaturity, that we are still nursing infants.

This is VERY applicable to me right now, and the more I think about it the more I need this lesson. I didn't realize until yesterday just how hurt and angry I am at God for the way He has made us wait so long for answers to our prayers, and for the way He is still making us wait. I just don't understand why we had to spend more than 8 long, frustrating months looking for a job before God came through. And we are thankful that He did and we praise Him for the perfect situation. But why make us suffer so long?

And now the need feels even more urgent for me as we wait for Him to come through with Eli's feeding and weight gain. We had him weighed yesterday and he is still gaining, but slowly. He's more than 3 weeks old and still not back up to his birth weight. This terrifies me for his health, and it also makes me angry. We have prayed and trusted God for Eli's health, and we are doing everything we possibly can to help him be healthy. So why is God withholding the answer to this prayer? I believe that He will come through, but what is the purpose of the long struggle while we wait?

I know that God's Word says that He is good in everything He does. He is loving, gracious, and compassionate, and He promises that all things in the lives of His children will work out for good. He also says that He does not act without a purpose, and He never allows difficulties into His children's lives just out of spite or for fun. So I know He has a purpose in this and that purpose is good, even though I may never know what that purpose is.

But I'm still really struggling with it, especially when we're in the middle of a feeding and Elias just won't wake up to eat. I pray and beg God continually - please, help him eat! And it feels like God just won't answer. I don't know why and I am really having a hard time letting it go and trusting God with Eli's life and health. So I just ask for your prayers. Please pray that God will indeed answer our prayers and that Elias will wake up and learn how to eat well and that he will gain weight! And please pray that in the meantime I will be able to let go of my anger and instead calm and quiet my soul like a weaned child.

Missouri Bound!

If there are any of you who don't read my husband's blog, you may not have heard our big news! After many months of searching, waiting, and praying, he has gotten a job! He is the new Instructor of Economics and Finance at Southwest Baptist University in Bolivar, Missouri (map here). The way it all came about is just miraculous, and God was so good to just drop this opportunity right in our laps. You can read more about how it happened at Justin's blog. So now we're working on making plans to try to move with a baby... Justin will probably fly out by himself and go house-hunting sometime in the next couple of weeks. It's just not feasible for us to try to take Elias. (He has picked out places for us to live on his own in the past and done a great job - I trust his judgment.) Then we plan to make the final move there sometime in mid-July. We want to stay here long enough for me to have my 6-week checkup (July 2) with the same doctor who delivered Elias. Plus, the older the baby is, hopefully the easier it will be to try to drive him halfway across the country. Please pray for us as we are figuring out details, finding a place to live, etc. Classes start for Justin on August 19th! :)

We are still kind of in a state of shock - it happened so fast! But we are incredibly thankful for God's provision for us, and we can't wait to see what the future holds. Please keep us in your prayers, and join us in praising God for answering our prayers in SUCH a huge way!

Graduations

My precious boy had not one, but TWO major graduations yesterday! First of all, he graduated from disposable diapers to cloth! We had been waiting to use our cloth diapers until his umbilical cord fell off and his bellybutton healed because the rise on the cloth diapers is so high. But his bellybutton is perfect now, and we've started using our cloth! They still seem pretty bulky compared to the disposables, but I think they're so cute! Besides the yellow pictured above, we also have blue, green, and white. Totally cute. These diapers are bumGenius 3.0 one-size diapers, which are adjustable and will grow to fit him for as long as he's in diapers (unless he's huge or potty-trains really late, heaven forbid!). So we're excited to be able to start using the cloth and stop wasting money and landfill space on disposables.

The second graduation he had yesterday was from sponge baths to a baby bathtub, also related to the healing of his umbilical cord. I think he really liked being in the water, although he did get fussy at the end. Maybe we were just too slow in getting the job done. We use the lavender scented night-time stuff, which is supposed to be calming for him. It never has seemed to have that effect on him, but Mommy sure likes smelling it on him for the whole rest of the night! (It calms ME down for the middle of the night feedings!) It was fun to be able to bathe him in a real bath, though, and I hope bathtime will be an enjoyable experience for us for years to come.

Eli's Birth Story

I'm finally getting around to posting the story of Eli's birth! For me, childbirth was the most intense, powerful, and thrilling experience of my life so far. It was awesome and wonderful, and I'd definitely do it again. So let me begin at the beginning:

You know from my post that day that I had started having regular and painful contractions at about 1 am on Tuesday, May 20. However, at my doctor's appointment at 1 pm that day, the doctor said that I was only dilated to 2 cm, and it could still be days before I gave birth. We opted not to accept any interventions at that point, and so we came home hoping things would progress on their own.

My contractions continued to be regular and painful all day, and I used a technique called the "belly lift" from the book Back Labor No More. (I did not read this book, so I'm not recommending it, but the technique is also mentioned in the Hypnobabies program that I did.) Basically, the belly lift is just pulling back on your belly during a contraction. In the womb, a baby is tilted forward toward your belly button. So pulling back on your belly right about at the belly button puts the baby in a more vertical position and helps him descend and press directly on the cervix. It is also supposed to help turn a baby who is facing the wrong direction. So for most of my contractions that day, I pulled in on my belly hoping to get him to press down on my cervix and make it open!

Since my contractions were already frequent and intense, I didn't notice a vast increase in frequency or intensity of contractions for most of the day. I even managed to take a short nap in the early evening. By late evening, though, it was getting pretty bad. Even then, though, I wasn't sure whether they were actually getting worse or if I was just getting tired and worn out. Justin was amazing in massaging my back, helping me relax, and even timing contractions for me once they got too bad for me to time myself. Then at about 11 pm, I started to shake, almost like I was cold, but I wasn't. I just was having these tremors that really scared me - I felt like I was losing control of my body! I didn't know what was happening! So I managed to take that for about a half hour before I started to emotionally just lose it. So Justin timed my contractions then, 3 minutes apart, and we finally decided to go to the hospital. I had been reluctant to go to the hospital all evening because I was afraid they were just going to tell me "You're at 3 cm." and I knew that I would take whatever interventions they offered me at that point. I had been hoping that my water would break, which would be a clear indication that it was time to go. Thankfully, we didn't wait until that happened, you'll see why later... But by this time I had had enough, and Justin could tell that I needed to go. So we made all the preparations (The car was already packed because we were planning on that day being IT!) and left, arriving at the emergency room right at midnight.

I am surprised at how calm I was through all the check-in and everything. I guess it was pretty surreal, like this wasn't actually happening. Plus, I was pretty focused on getting through the contractions. And I was still scared that I hadn't made any progress. The emergency room attendant rang the birthing center, and they sent a nurse down with a wheelchair to get me. This was the first time I had ever ridden in a wheelchair! The nurse even commented at how calm I was, and I was talking and laughing between contractions. I could tell that she was thinking "There's no way this girl is ready to give birth..." In fact, later several of the nurses told me that when I first came in, they thought I couldn't be progressed very far because I wasn't freaking out and I was able to carry on conversations and smile and stuff. Thankfully, they were wrong!

They took me to a triage room and started hooking me up to the monitors, but before they hooked them up, they checked my cervix for dilation. The nurse seemed really surprised when she exclaimed "She's at 7!" Seven?! Yippeeeeeeeee! I couldn't believe it. The best I was hoping for was like 5! Seven meant the baby was coming, and pretty soon too! (I guess the belly lift worked! Not to mention ALL the prayers!!!)

So they didn't even bother hooking me to monitors in triage. They just took us to our labor & delivery room, and we got settled in there. By the time we got into our room, it was about 12:30 am. They gave me the IV for the antibiotics for the Group B Strep, and I have to admit that I was all worried about the IV for nothing. It hurt a little when she put it in, but then I totally forgot about it. I had much bigger fish to fry. The antibiotics did burn in my arm going in, but even then it wasn't that big a deal. The next 1 1/2 hours were pretty much the same, getting through worsening contractions. Justin was again a lifesaver. He would help me focus and relax and breathe through the contractions. (I didn't do the "hee hee hoo hoo" breathing stuff. Just breathed deeply through my mouth.) For me, contractions weren't really all that bad. I mean, they were incredibly painful, but they were so short that you just have to focus on getting through it and you know it'll be over in just a few more seconds. They did start coming pretty fast, though. Justin read me some Psalms, and that helped too.

At 2 am, they checked me again, and I was at 9 cm! They said "We'd better call the doctor and tell him to get ready!" That's when the action really started. About 2 minutes after the nurse left the room, I had another strong contraction, my water broke, and the baby came down FAST!!! I've heard people refer to it as a "water slide" when the water breaking carries the baby all the way down the birth canal. :) I mean, he came fast. I was pushing by the end of the contraction. When I was able to catch my breath, I told Justin "My water just broke, and I'M PUSHING!" I've never seen the man move so fast. He was in the hallway yelling for the nurses, and suddenly my room was a bustle of activity.

The nurses were getting everything set up for the delivery, and they just kept telling me "DON'T PUSH!" Um, yeah right. How in the world am I not going to push?! "Just breathe," they would say. And really as long as I focused on breathing, it was slightly easier not to push. It took probably 10 or 15 minutes for the doctor to arrive, and I tell ya, that was the hardest part about the whole deal. The baby is REALLY ready to come out, and I'm having to try NOT to push! I think they were all just scared of me delivering before the doctor got there since there was so much trauma about anticipating a big baby who wouldn't fit. Thankfully, the doctor arrived and as they were getting the scrubs on him, he said "What are you breathing for!? PUSH!" I took me a couple of contractions to figure out how to push, and actually once it came down to doing it, I was scared. I mean, what if the baby really didn't fit?! But there really wasn't any other option, so I got down to business.

I had actually intended to try to deliver the baby in a squatting position, working with gravity instead of pushing against it lying down. But with the way my limbs were shaking, I didn't think I'd even be able to squat, and I just wanted the baby out - I didn't care how! Justin remembered what I wanted, though, and got them to at least tilt the back of my bed up so I was more in an upright position. I highly recommend this - it was much easier to push sitting upright instead of lying flat on my back. So I pushed for about 10 minutes, and out he came! At one point, they put an oxygen mask on me, and I think this was because I had only partially delivered the head, and the baby needed the extra oxygen until the next contraction when I could finish delivering the head. But that was only a minute until the next contraction, and the rest of the head came on out! I think I heard the doctor say that the cord was wrapped around his neck, but later he said that was normal and no problem. Then with the next contraction, I delivered the shoulders and out he came at 2:24 am! (As a side note, pushing the baby out did not hurt at all. Just intense pressure. I guess my body was so numb by then that it didn't hurt one bit.)

Hearing my baby cry was the most surreal experience of my life. They put him on my belly and it was like the Twilight Zone. This is my son, who I just pushed out of my body. Justin cried, but I was just in disbelief. I couldn't believe that it had actually happened exactly the way we hoped it would! We asked the doctor to wait to clamp the cord until it stopped pulsating so the baby could get all the good oxygen and nutrients in the blood that was there. It only took a minute though, then the doctor clamped the cord and Justin cut it. I held the sweet boy on my belly for about 15 minutes before they took him to weigh and measure him and do whatever else they do to newborns. His Agpar scores were 8 and 9, which are very good. Yay for a drug-free birth! We only had time to get in one round of antibiotics, which really isn't enough. But they kept a close eye on him and he tested negative the next day for the infection. So praise God for that!

Then came the unpleasant business of repairing my tear. And oh, what a tear it was! The doctor said it looked "like a bomb went off down there." Justin remembers him saying that the baby "tore me a new one." The doctor said that it was his shoulders that tore me so badly, not his head. He said that the tears weren't deep, but they were just long and a lot of them. It literally took him 45 minutes to stitch me up! That was a pretty long 45 minutes, especially since my sweet baby was laying over in the warmer 5 feet from me instead of cuddling in my arms! But I had asked them to use a local anesthetic to repair my tear, so I wasn't in any pain. He finally finished, though, and he seemed pretty proud of his work. The nurses assured me that as bad as my tear was, my recovery would still be a lot easier than if I had had a c-section.

The nurses all told me how proud they were of me for the way I gave birth - they were impressed that I did it unmedicated and stayed so calm. I thought it was nice of them to tell me that. Then I finally got to hold my sweet boy and nurse him. Still Twilight Zone. It took me several days before it finally became real that I had had a baby.

My physical recovery has been great, very little pain and bleeding. I am so thankful for that, since the emotional and mental part of motherhood has been so difficult. But I am incredibly thankful for my birth experience - it was as close to ideal as I could hope for! I can honestly say that giving birth was wonderful and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I feel the same way about pregnancy too. Maybe I can sign up to be a surrogate mother - carry and birth other people's babies and then THEY have to take care of them once they're born! :)

Wow, this turned out to be really long. But now you have all the details... I'm glad to have them written down before I start to forget them, too!

More Going On Than We Think...

I said in my last post that Nana was "on duty" the past 2 nights. This is because Justin was out of town. And these were two of the worst days we've had with Elias. He was just a terror and my emotional reactions to him were out of control. When Justin got back yesterday afternoon, he shared a thought which made me pause. He's reading a book about spiritual authority and spiritual attack (which I'm sure he'll review on his blog when he finishes it). He said that he thought the hard time we had with Elias while he was gone wasn't just a fluke, but it was actually spiritual warfare. Justin, the spiritual head and authority in our home, was away and so that left us more vulnerable to attack. And looking at it, I can totally see how that could be true. Especially considering that as soon as Justin got home and we prayed over him together, Eli started eating and sleeping again. Last night was a dream - he went straight down after every feeding and slept until the next one like he had been doing before Justin left. This is kind of scary to think about the attack we were under with Justin away, but it is also empowering to recognize the enemy and be prepared to fight him next time we're in this situation. It is easy to get caught up in the physical aspects of caring for a baby - feeding, sleeping, diapering, etc. But we can't neglect the spiritual aspect of life as well. The enemy wants to destroy our family and home, and he'll take advantage of any way he can get his foot in the door. I want to be covered in prayer and ready for him when he comes! This is a battle we have already won.

Here's a picture of us from today - Elias is 18 days old!

New Mommy Lessons

Ugh. Last night was rough. And I mean ROUGH. There was a lot of crying (both me and the baby), and very little sleeping (both me and the baby AND my poor mother-in-law, who was "on duty"). Even now we have no idea what was wrong with him and why he just would not sleep. But now that he has stopped screaming and is napping peacefully again, here are some lessons I have learned/need to learn from this experience about parenting an infant:

1. Caring for an infant is not predictable. Just because something worked/happened yesterday, it might not today. That's just how it is. Everybody is still adjusting to this new life.
2. You just have to roll with the punches. Not everything is cause for an emotional breakdown. Nothing about our situation is permanent... If it's bad today, it'll probably be better tomorrow. Everybody is still adjusting to this new life.
3. When the baby cries, it is not a personal indictment against me as a mother. Yes, he's upset and I don't know what to do about it. That does not make me unfit for motherhood. Everybody is still adjusting to this new life.
4. When the baby cries, he is not doing it to personally spite me, so getting angry at him is not a reasonable response. He's crying because he has some kind of need, and we just don't know what that is. That is ok. Everybody is still adjusting to this new life.
5. It is ok to accept help. I feel absolutely terrible about the night my mother-in-law had last night. She was just as frazzled and bewildered at Eli's behavior as I was, but she handled it with MUCH more grace than I did. She definitely saw one of the worst sides of me last night. But there is no way that Eli and I would've survived the night without her, and she was perfectly willing and able to help. So even though it meant she had a terrible night inflicted upon her, I am thankful for her help and will accept it again. These bad nights won't last forever... Everybody is still adjusting to this new life.

So the theme of this post is that I need to chill out and give us time to adjust. Although last night it felt like Eli would be screaming forever, really it was only about 12 hours. And he was so wide awake from the screaming that he ate GREAT at every feeding. So there was a silver lining even to that cloud. The time in our lives that we'll be having nights like this is very short, and so I just need to relax and accept them with grace. God is still present even in the tough nights, and He is carrying us and providing for us all that we need.

On the Upswing

We had an excellent doctor visit today! Elias has gained an ounce every day since we started doing the 2-hour feeding schedule... Praise the Lord! So things are on the upswing with my baby boy. I feel like we're settling into the routine well, and I am incredibly thankful for the support and help I have in Justin and my mother-in-law. They are awesome to take care of Elias and let me get sleep between feedings. What a blessing! (To all expectant mothers reading this, MAKE SURE TO HAVE HELP AVAILABLE TO YOU 24/7 FOR AT LEAST THE FIRST 2 WEEKS! If Daddy's going back to work, get somebody else to come stay with you while he's gone...)

We also had a good visit with the lactation consultant. The problem we're having is that Eli just can't get a good latch on his own, so we've been using a nipple shield since he was 2 days old. He eats fine with it, it's just a nuisance to have to try to use, it could cause problems in getting him to take just my nipple in the future, and I just don't want to have to use it forever. So the sooner we can get off of it, the better. So the tries we had with the lactation consultant today were still not perfect, but definitely the best we've ever had. We did manage to get a full feeding without the shield, which is definitely a first. I think Eli and I both just need time and practice to get things right. He is eating SO WELL, though, with the shield, and I am so thankful that he is starting to gain weight. The doc doesn't need to see him again until his 1 month appointment, but I'll probably take him in next week to have him weighed and just make sure we're still on the right track.

Thank you SO MUCH, everybody, for all your prayers and encouragement. God is good and He is taking care of us through this time.

2 Weeks Old

Thank you, everybody, SO SO much for your kind comments and your prayers. We have definitely felt your prayers and God is most definitely working on our behalf. I am doing so much better than I was even 2 days ago - more at peace with what is going on, and I haven't cried all day! :) Please keep praying!

And our sweet boy is 2 weeks old today! I can also tell a difference in him - he is doing really well with all that we're trying to do. I think he's getting into his groove with breastfeeding... He's getting the hang of the whole sucking and swallowing thing, and I'm starting to feel like he may actually be getting food when he eats. I was pretty worried yesterday because he just didn't seem to be swallowing much, and then he'd fall asleep before I felt like he got anything. But we all got good sleep last night - Eli went straight to sleep after every feeding, so Daddy didn't have to get up at all to do pacifier duty. And today things are definitely looking up. Feedings are going much faster too, as long as he remembers his suck/swallow groove. Keep up the prayers for this too! Tomorrow we'll be meeting with another lactation consultant, and we're hoping to get his latch straightened out. I'm also anxious to see if he's gaining any weight at our appointment tomorrow morning.

In other news, his umbilical cord fell off yesterday! So that's great, and we're excited to be able to put him in clothes besides a t-shirt. Here he is in his first onesie!What a cutie. You may also notice that he has a new paci. My mother-in-law went and stocked up on several different kinds, because he didn't always seem to enjoy the first one we had. So two nights ago we tried this one, and he took to it immediately. It really was miraculous. With the other one, we'd have to hold it in his mouth for a while before he figured out what to do with it, and he didn't always take it - sometimes it upset him more than it soothed him. This one is instant, and it almost always puts him straight to sleep. The shape of it is much better, and so I can see why it feels better in his mouth. Praise God for Nana's idea of trying other kinds!

And to close, I'll just post this picture that Nana captured of one of Eli's less-than-happy moments... What a face!

Baby Blues

I have a really bad case of the Baby Blues. This is actually a misnomer because I'm not blue - there's nothing sad about the way I feel. What I feel is overwhelmed, angry, and exhausted. I'm overwhelmed by how much I love and care for this child, overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for him and how time- and energy-intensive that is, overwhelmed by the postpartum and lactation hormones that are ravaging my body and making me a basketcase, overwhelmed by the fears and doubts that pop up - Are we doing this right? Is he going to be ok? I don't really know why I'm angry, but today that is my main emotion. I'm angry that he sleeps through feedings and then won't nap when he's supposed to, angry that this is much much harder than I ever could've imagined it being, angry because this is not what I signed up for and feeling that way then makes me feel guilty. I had been told that the first month to 6 weeks of motherhood were going to be really really hard, but I was in no way prepared for this. I don't think anybody could be. I guess I thought that the joy would kind of make up for the difficulty. It doesn't. There are moments of joy, but they are far outweighed by the other stuff right now. I'm told it will get better. And I know I'm definitely not unique. Every mother in history has gone through this before me, and they all made it fine, so I know I will too. But I'd really appreciate your prayers.

To top it all off, we dropped by the pediatrician's office today to check Elias' weight and make sure he's gaining. He's not. He's still losing weight. This is not good. So the doctor squeezed us into his schedule to check Elias over. He said he's definitely not dehydrated and his diapering pattern is great, so we're not in panic mode yet. He said I need to step up the feedings, though - every 2 hours around the clock. This makes me want to jump off a cliff. Elias is so sleepy during feedings that a lot of the time it takes us over an hour to finish a feeding. If I'm supposed to be feeding him every 2 hours, that means I have like 45 minutes from the end of one feeding to the beginning of the next. The doctor said that Elias eating better should make him sleep better during naptimes and then wake up better for feedings. But trying to get this started just makes me want to cry even more than I already have been, which is a lot. So please, please pray for us. Pray that Elias will fall into a good pattern of eating and sleeping, and that he will start to gain weight immediately. Pray also for Justin and I as we persevere through this difficult time of adjustment. We go back to the doctor Thursday to check on progress.

Sorry to write such a downer post, but I really need you guys praying for us, and I want to be completely honest about what is going on so you can lift us up to the Father with as specific details as possible! Thank you for your prayers and support.

What Time Is It?!

Like most newborns, Eli came to us with his days and nights mixed up. This meant that he slept all day and screamed all night - not incredibly fun. So we've spent the past couple of days concentrating on trying to get his days and nights back in order! To help him learn what daytime is, we're trying to spend more time awake during the day, and we're also trying to expose him to more natural sunlight.

We do waketime after he eats and before he naps, and usually Daddy does his waketime. He reads to him or sings to him. We look forward to when we can play together! Here is a picture of Daddy reading Eli his favorite thing so far - Business Week magazine. He apparently likes it better than any of the Dr. Suess or other books Daddy has read to him. I guess he gets that from his Dad... :)His daytime naps are usually taken in his bouncy chair near a window - not directly in the sun, but with enough sunlight to help him know that it's brighter now than in his crib at night. We also try to get him outside some during the day, so here is a picture of our first walk! Our neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks, so I'm not thrilled about just taking him out for a walk here. So we got in the car and drove to a nearby trail on the river, just about 10 minutes from our house. It was fun, and Eli slept all the way through it.Our problem now is that he seems to be enjoying waketime too much during the day, and it's hard to get him to go down for a daytime nap. We're hoping that will all adjust itself out soon. But our nights are MUCH more pleasant than they were at first... Instead of spending the 2 or 3 hours between feedings trying to console a screaming baby, Daddy gets to just spend 30 minutes or so sitting next to the crib making sure the pacifier doesn't fall out... I guess that's better...

Our Miracle Solution

First of all, a quick health update: We went back to the doctor today, and Eli's jaundice is officially on the mend! His numbers are still going down, and the doctor says he's good to go. Praise the Lord! He has lost some more weight since our last visit, which most babies are gaining by now. But the doctor said that it's probably because we cut out the formula supplements, and that he thinks we'll be fine if we keep doing what we'll doing. We'll probably take him back next week just to get weighed again and make sure he's gaining for our own peace of mind, but the doctor doesn't need to see him again until he's 1 month old!

Now, let me just say that last night was really hard. Eli was just not sleeping. He'll eat a full meal, and then just scream like he's still hungry. So I'd feed him, and then Justin would spend the next 2 hours trying to console him until I'd wake up to feed him again. Sometimes he would fall asleep, but usually not. We tried giving him a bottle to see if he really was hungry, but he screamed after that too. Terrible. So the whole household was just exhausted and overwrought. And really this has been happening every night since we came home from the hospital - he just doesn't get contented enough after a feeding to fall asleep, so our nights have been long and hard. BUT then at about 7 this morning, I had a brainwave. Maybe he just needs to suck in order to soothe himself! We had intended to not use pacifiers, at least this early, to try to avoid nipple confusion with his feeding. But at this point, we would try anything. So we pulled out the pacifier, and I gave it to him after his feeding. I tell you what, the kid went straight to sleep. It was like a dadgum miracle. I am really REALLY sad we didn't think of it sooner and avoid some of the difficulty we've had. So now the pacifier is our new best friend, and we're hoping that tonight and all subsequent nights will be much better.

And here are a few more pictures for your viewing enjoyment:

Coming home from the hospitalThe welcome sign that his grandparents had waiting for himMy little angelThere's a peek at his eyes!

Making Progress

Just wanted to update everybody - my milk came in this morning! So that is a huge relief and hopefully now we can start getting everything figured out. We have an amazing lactation consultant affiliated with our hospital, and she has been priceless in helping us figure out what to do. We spent an hour with her today, and she said that I'm making enough milk that we can eliminate the formula feedings. That is a huge relief for me - I was really frustrated with not being able to produce enough for him. So we're still working on him getting used to not having a big full formula belly after each feeding, but hopefully we'll get our routine fixed in the next day or two. Now we just need to get him to actually sleep between feedings! Please pray for us as we try to get all this stuff figured out. I truly believe that parenting will become more joyful in the next few weeks as things get settled down and we start to feel more like we know what we're doing! I have more pictures to post, but need to get them uploaded - hopefully in the next day or two. Thanks for all your kind thoughts and prayers!

Home and Doing Great

I'm finally taking a minute to check in! Thanks to everyone for your sweet comments and for your prayers for us! God was so faithful in answering our every prayer for a perfect delivery - PRAISE HIM with us! I will take some time soon to post the full account of our labor and delivery, but not at the moment. Instead, I'll give a brief update of our status now.

We came home from the hospital yesterday (Friday) afternoon. They almost didn't let us go because Eli has some pretty heavy jaundice (yellow coloring because of too-high levels of bilirubin in the blood). However, they decided to let us go home and try taking care of it on our own with frequent feedings and exposure to sunlight. Since my milk hasn't come in yet, we're supplementing the breast with formula in order to get his system working. So we spent the night getting up every 3 hours to feed - first breast and then bottle. It was pretty exhausting, but we went back to the doctor today and he has made really good progress, so that's great news! Please pray for us that he continues to improve (We go back to the doctor on Tuesday, and his levels should be completely back to normal by then.), that we can continue to adjust to the schedule with a newborn, and that I will get the rest I need and be diligent about resting instead of doing unnecessary things (like blogging?!). Please also pray that my milk will come in soon - it's really frustrating to have a hungry baby that needs frequent feedings for his jaundice, and I can't do anything about it!

I was just rereading the previous paragraph, and it sounds kinda "just the facts." So let me just tell you that I love this precious baby boy, and I am so thrilled and proud and overwhelmed and joyful to be a mommy. This is what I was made for, plain and simple. Justin mentioned in a previous post that he is more emotional than I am over all this, and it's true. I think I've just been preparing and planning for so long, that now it feels like I'm finally able to get down to business and accomplish all my plans. Being a mommy to a newborn is busy work! But I love where we are and how we got here and where we're going, and I look forward to seeing Eli grow and develop before my eyes.

I won't take the time to post more now, but I will add a few more pictures for your viewing enjoyment:Look at that sweet face!Our little familyHis first time in the carseat to come home from the hospitalIn the sun to get rid of his jaundice. Daddy is exceptionally proud of his choice of headgear. (That's a Jimmie Johnson hat - Justin's favorite NASCAR driver.)

Pics of Baby Eli

This is Justin again. Taking a break from the hospital while Elias is getting circumcised. Things are going well. He's a big boy and is almost always hungry. He's feeding well, but we'll probably start supplementing Joni's feedings with some formula from a syringe in order to get him more comfortable until Joni's milk comes in.

He's got both of his grandmothers and aunts doting on him. Both sets of grandparents will be living with us this next week.

Joni is feeling great and I'm so proud of her. I'm an emotional basketcase but she's being really solid, so we have a role reversal. I'm just postpartum and it will be a while before my hormones get back to normal. We both finally got some sleep last night while Eli was in the nursery; they brought him back to us every 3 hours for feedings. That was a big help.

The hospital and staff have been wonderful. Everyone really friendly and providing for all our needs. The food is a full-menu room service so Joni is eating well. The woman who did our birthing classes is the lactation consultant, so things just working out really well.

Here are some pics of him!

With Nana


With Grandma

Him being fussy this morning.


Sleepy/fussy/hungry boy.


His first picture.
Joni after giving birth.

Elias John Tapp!

(This is Justin writing)
Elias is here! He was born at 2:24am on May 21st. 9 lbs 7 oz, 22 inches long.

Joni was a real trooper and we were blessed to have a fully natural birth. She labored for several hours at home and we went to the hospital at midnight. Things escalated quickly and it took a while for the on-call doctor to arrive so she could push him out. He is very beautiful and we are VERY blessed!

No complications with his delivery, he came out easily. But, he was so big that he "tore her a new one," as the doctor put it. But, she's doing fine. We'll be in the hospital 48 hours total due to her strep b.

But, praise the Lord and thanks for your prayers! Pictures soon!

Good News and Bad News

We had another doctor's appointment today! The good news is that the baby has indeed dropped some, and my cervix is dilated to 2 cm! So we're making progress and that's great!

The bad news, however, is that I was up all night with pretty strong, frequent, painful contractions, so I should be a lot further along than 2 cm after all that. (For the most part, what is happening is that the lower part of my uterus is contracting, not the whole thing. So I have sharp pains down below, but it's not actually pushing the baby downward to make progress the way contractions should.) So the doctor felt like I may or may not continue to make progress, and it's probably going to be a really long and hard several days of painful contractions before I finally do have the baby, IF I do at all. So he strongly recommended that we go straight to the hospital and let them break my water to try to speed up labor and get things moving. However, the problem with that is twofold: Firstly, artificially breaking the water means much more painful and difficult contractions than before the water has broken, and I think it's unlikely I'd be able to go on with the drug-free birth I want if my water is broken prematurely. Secondly, there's no guarantee that breaking the water would actually jump-start labor. If it doesn't, we'd be looking at a c-section. So we declined his advice to go have the water broken, and we decided to just come home and wait for labor to progress on its own.

This is all well and good, but the contractions I'm having are really quite painful, and I'm kind of dreading the thought of 2, 3, or more days of this. So I ask for your prayers that labor progresses quickly and this baby comes OUT! Pray that my uterus will contract fully and do the work it's supposed to do! Pray also that I can get some rest - I barely slept last night, and I really don't need to be exhausted right now. I'm going to try to take a nap right now!

Book PREviews

I thought some of you may be interested in the books we have read and like for pregnancy/childbirth, infant/baby care, and childrearing. So I wanted to give you a preview of what we're doing! I'm waiting to write reviews of the books until I have actually put their concepts into practice and can tell you how they work for me. So this will just be a taste of what's to come!

Hypnobabies, by Kerry Tuschhoff - Recommended by my sister
This isn't actually a book, it's a 6-week childbirth preparation program for women who are at the end of their pregnancies and want a natural childbirth. It is a "self-hypnosis" program, which sounds weird, but it's not the same kind of hypnosis you see on TV where "you're getting very sleepy" and you can make somebody who's been hypnotized think they're a squirrel or something. I would describe it more as techniques for teaching you how to completely relax your mind and body. The concept is that childbirth is so painful because women are afraid, which causes them to be tense, which causes them pain, which causes them to be more afraid, and the cycle continues. So if you can be educated about your childbirth choices, know what to expect, and know how to relax your mind and body to break the cycle, childbirth will be much easier and shorter. This is how it's SUPPOSED to work - I'll let you know how it goes. :) I do already know that the relaxation techniques are great in helping me rest and get to sleep at night, and the "natural anesthesia" you can create with your mind has already helped me in getting rid of headaches and backaches.

BabyWise, by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam - Recommended by my sister and several other friends
I have not actually read the book BabyWise. I have read the Christian version by the same author, which is called Let the Children Come Along the Infant Way. From what I understand, the concepts are identical, but the presentation is just a little different. This is apparently a very controversial book, but it seems like mostly common sense to me. Basically, as my child's parent, I am responsible for teaching him when and how to eat, be awake, and sleep so that he can develop properly and learn how to function in our world. This book gives a step-by-step way in which I can do that. As someone who is very organized and orderly, I look forward to learning how Eli and I can get on a system together that optimizes health and life for both of us.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau - Recommended by my sister-in-law
When I first heard about this book, I thought it was going to be totally opposite from the BabyWise system. However, after reading it, I think the two go perfectly hand-in-hand. BabyWise offers more of the system and structure, Baby Whisperer tells you more how the same system can be applied to your own child given his personality. I think the two books can be melded together to make a really neat approach, and I look forward to trying it with Eli! I think it is also an excellent way to learn how to read and understand our child, since we're planning on parenting using the below book.

Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp - Given to us by our former Sunday School teacher in Waco
This book won't be something we can put into practice until Eli is a little older and begins developing a mind/will of his own. But I am THRILLED at having this book already and being able to start out parenting with the concepts it provides. This is the most Scriptural approach to parenting I have ever heard of. It will NOT be easy, not in the slightest. But I cannot wait to see it working! The basic principle is that you can't just raise your children training them to act or not act a certain way without addressing the heart issues behind all their actions. We believe that all people are born with sin natures, and it's these predispositions to sin that make a child disobey, lie, speak disrespectfully, etc. So if you just punish him for lying without ever addressing the sinful nature behind WHY he lies, then you're doing him a real disservice. This book provides a biblical approach to discipline that allows parents to know their children's strengths and weaknesses, understand the heart issues behind what they do, and address them in the context of training your children to be worshippers who want to glorify God with their behavior. Heavy, but really powerful.

Happy Due Date!

Happy Due Date to me! My sweet boy decided not to come on his due date, but that's ok. We had a nice day anyway. Here's a picture of us to commemorate 40 weeks!I'm just about certain he has dropped at least some, and my contractions are definitely getting stronger. So who knows? There is a full moon on Monday, and they say that labor & delivery wards are overflowing when it's a full moon! :)

Thanks and Stats

First of all, I just wanted to thank EVERYBODY for all of the kind comments and emails you have sent me in the past couple of weeks! I've tried to respond to them, but I'm sure I've missed somebody. And I want you to know that your support and encouragement hasn't gone unappreciated! I also really appreciate your prayers - I have felt them SO MUCH over the past couple of days. God has given me so much peace about our situation. Whether I go into labor on my own and birth him vaginally, go into labor on my own and end up needing a c-section, or wait 2 more weeks and then just have the c-section - all of those are good and admirable ways to give birth, and what matters most is a healthy baby. I am still asking and believing God for our "ideal" birth, but I am prepared to trust Him should He give us something else. Please keep praying and we'll keep you updated!

I've had so many people tell me the stories of their births, and I am just amazed by how different each one is and how many different ways it can work out! So out of curiosity, I've compiled the data to see what the trend is. This is information on the 28 babies (single births - I didn't include multiples!) that I know that have been born in the past 4 years. (I'm sure I know more, but I either can't remember or don't know how they were born.) Of these:

- 13 of the mothers went into labor on their own and gave birth vaginally (47%)
- 3 of the mothers went into labor on their own and gave birth by c-section (11%)
- 4 of the mothers were induced and gave birth vaginally (14%)
- 2 of the mothers were induced and gave birth by c-section (7%)
- 6 had elective c-sections (21%)

I don't think this proves or says anything, but I just thought it was interesting, and I'm encouraged at how many actually went into labor on their own and gave birth vaginally! It seemed like everybody I knew was telling me about their induction or c-section story (not that there's anything wrong with that and I love hearing your stories - I was just starting to feel like nobody gave birth without interventions anymore)! But when I stopped and looked at the data, more than half waited until they went into labor on their own, and more than 80% of those that did had vaginal births.

My next question is, for those of you that did go into labor on your own, WHEN did you go into labor in comparison with your due date? From what I understand, when allowed to proceed without intervention, most first-time moms don't go into labor until after their estimated due date... I may be working on another post about estimated due dates and gestation for first-time moms, but this post is already long enough. :)

Kind in All His Works

I was reading this Psalm last night, and God really used it to bring me comfort and confidence in Him. I've marked in blue the verses that really stood out to me.

Psalm 145

Great Is the LORD
A Song of Praise. Of David.

1 I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever.
2 Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.

4 One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.
5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
6 They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness.
7 They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

8 The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

10 All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD, and all your saints shall bless you!
11 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power,
12 to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

The LORD is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works.
14 The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season.
16 You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.
20 The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Discouraging Day

Well, it's been a pretty discouraging day, and we'd really appreciate your prayers. As a background, I've been having regular contractions for a week now - generally about 15 minutes apart. They are not at all painful, but I can feel that my uterus is tightening up - like the feeling when you flex your arms or something except I'm not in control of when it tightens and lets go. So last night they started to come closer together, 6-10 minutes apart. I went to sleep and woke up at 4am, and they were coming CLOSE. So I timed them and they were every THREE minutes. Generally, you don't have contractions 3 minutes apart unless you're giving birth. I timed them for a full hour to see what they'd do, and they stayed 3 minutes apart for a full hour. So I thought about waking up Justin and seeing if we should go to the hospital, but I knew from how calm I was and how little pain I was in, that there's no way this was actually it. So I just made myself relax and went back to sleep. I figured even though this clearly isn't time now, these fast contractions must mean that something is happening, and I'm going to need my rest. So when I woke up this morning, the contractions were more like 6-7 minutes apart and still not at all painful. So we just got ready and went to our scheduled doctor's appointment this afternoon, thinking they could tell us what was up.

So we got to the doctor, and the first thing we have is the ultrasound. The technician is like "Whoa, this baby is big..." "That's one big head he's got there..." "His belly measurement is off the charts..." In fact, he was so big that the machine couldn't actually give us an estimate of what it thought he weighed. It came up with 10 lbs, 5 oz, but the ultrasound tech said that doesn't really mean anything, because his belly measurement was so big that the machine didn't even use it. She that just from looking at him, she'd estimate him at 9-something. She said it's highly unlikely that he'd gain almost 2 pounds in 2 weeks, so she knows that 10,5 isn't accurate. (We didn't get any good pictures of him this week - sorry!)

Then it's time to see the doctor. I tell her about my night of contractions, and she does an internal exam... Nothing, zip, nada. He hasn't dropped at all, and so he's not putting any pressure on my cervix to make it start dilating. That doesn't mean he won't drop or that I couldn't dilate fully in just a matter of hours. But it's looking less and less likely that is going to happen. She said that of course they can never predict these things and every woman/baby is different, but if she were to make an educated guess, it would still be weeks before I went into labor on my own. Waiting weeks is not recommended considering how big this baby is. So she recommended that we go over to the hospital and hook up to the monitors to actually check my contractions and see if they're putting any stress on the baby. They also took some blood because they want to recheck my sugar and see if I developed gestational diabetes since I had the test weeks ago. This would explain the baby's large size and would affect how they treat him after birth. We should get those results at next week's appointment.

We did NOT expect a trip to the hospital today! But off we go to labor & delivery to get checked in and hooked up to the monitor! (Side note: I'd never been admitted to a hospital before... I got the wristband and everything. Didn't expect that would ever happen until I was giving birth.) So I get settled into a room and they hook me up to the monitors: one measuring my contractions, one measuring the baby's heartbeat, and one measuring my blood pressure. (Which the nurse said was a little high... I wonder why... Maybe I was a little stressed out?!?!) She said that as long as everything was looking fine, they'd only leave me hooked up for 15 minutes. It wasn't incredibly comfortable, but it wasn't the end of the world. It was a little nerve-wracking sitting there listening to the baby's heartbeat and the way it fluctuates. I would get nervous with every drop in rate, but I could tell that its fluctuations were in no way related to my contractions. So after the 15 minutes, the OB on call came in to talk about what's going on. This is the first OB I ever met with, the one who first introduced to me the idea of c-section.

He said this is the situation: The baby is doing great, healthy as a horse, having a grand old time in there. What my uterus is doing is so weak that it really can't even be classified as contractions - more just like little muscle irritations. This is why I'm not in any pain. With the baby still so high above the birth canal, my cervix just isn't dilating. And now the baby is getting so big that it's getting likely that he may not be able to drop into my birth canal. So there is a chance that we could sit here for weeks and weeks, and I'd never go into labor on my own, Eli would just get bigger and bigger in there. We are already past the point of inducing labor - he is already so big that an induction just isn't worth the risk. So our two options are to wait for nature to take its course, acknowledging that at some point we're going to have to make a decision that we've waited long enough, or go ahead and schedule the c-section. Both doctors we talked to today didn't have any problem at all with us wanting to wait another week or even 2 weeks to see what happens before we schedule a c-section. But they both seemed pretty confident that that will be the end result here. They just don't think I'm going to go into labor on my own, they don't think that Eli will even fit into the birth canal to get it started. So their basic stance is: Wait as long as you want before you let us give you the c-section you're going to end up with.

That is really, really discouraging to me, and frankly pretty scary. This is my son's life and health we're talking about here, and I don't take that responsibility lightly. But our stance this whole time has been that God is perfectly in control and He can be trusted with the timing and circumstances of Eli's birth. And no matter what happened today, God is no less in control today than He was yesterday. He is not surprised by the lack of progress I seem to be making, nor is He surprised at how big Eli is. (In fact, He's the only One who actually KNOWS how big Eli really is.) At the same time, the responsibility of being Eli's parents is a heavy one and one that God chose for us, and I wonder if at some point He will want us to step up and make a choice for the good of our son? If that is the case, how do we know when that is? We certainly believe it isn't now - we haven't even reached our due date yet. So our next appointment is set for next Tuesday.

And so I'm just begging for your prayers that Eli will come on his own SOON and be born healthy and safely. Pray that we can glorify God with our trust in Him, and that our choosing to trust will prove to be the best for all involved.

9 Months!

Here's my 9 month picture! 9 months pregnant?! Whoa.Justin thinks that I'm still enjoying being pregnant too much for Eli to come. He wonders if maybe I have to get really miserable the way most women do before I'll actually give birth... I am starting to get more and more uncomfortable, but I think it would be nice if I could just avoid the whole miserable stage of pregnancy. We'll see! :)

Date Night

Last night Justin took me out on the sweetest date night! We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner, and I ate SO MUCH FOOD! The dinner was good, but the dessert was amazing... A banana chimichanga. They wrapped a banana in a tortilla and fried it, served with ice cream, whipped cream, and caramel sauce. Oh my heavens. I could go back for one of those every day. :)

Then we went to the dollar movies and saw The Bucket List. That movie was SO MUCH BETTER than I expected it to be! I laughed, I cried, I thought deeply about what is most important in life. If you haven't seen it, see it. You won't regret it.

So today makes 39 weeks! I cannot believe that we are one week away from our due date! (I'll wait to post a belly picture until tomorrow, since that will be 9 months.) I'm almost certain he has turned anterior (meaning he is facing the back), which is the ideal position for birthing. He also seems to be dropping a bit, so hopefully he'll be coming soon! :)

And just so you don't worry, I have put my blog sign-in information on a post-it note next to the computer, so whoever comes home from the hospital first after the baby is born can post a note on here letting you know about it! You'll all know as soon as possible when we have news!

Playing with Daddy

We had the sweetest experience last night, and I just had to share about it on here! We were laying in bed talking before turning out the light last night, and Justin had his hand resting on my belly. He unconsciously started rubbing my belly, and we were both surprised when Eli started responding! Whenever Justin would rub his hand over Eli's feet, Eli would move them in response! Then Justin said "Let's see what he does when I rub in a circle..." and Eli responded with a HUGE kick! It was so hilarious, and the surprised look of joy on Justin's face was awesome! Then it bowled me over when Justin said, "Hey! We're playing!" I was laughing so hard, though, that it disrupted playtime. But it was so sweet and special last night to have the first of many, many times that Eli will be playing with his Daddy. :)

Appointment Today

I had a doctor's appointment today, and there's no news! Last night I started having pretty regular contractions - about every 15 minutes - and they continued all night and even now. So I thought that might be an indication that things are getting started. However, the doc did an internal exam, and she said nothing's happening in there yet. (No dilation at all.) Soooo, although the contractions are a good sign that things are happening, it could still be weeks before anything actually does. OR it could all happen at once right away. So, you just never know! We're just going to keep doing what we're doing and praying that he comes at the right time. The good news is that my belly measurement didn't give the doc any concern, and so she said it'll be fine to wait for another ultrasound until my appointment next Tuesday. So please pray that either he comes before then or that the ultrasound shows that he hasn't grown so much that the doctors are going to give us a hard time about not inducing or opting for a c-section!

As If I Needed an Excuse to Indulge...

I saw this article in a Baby Center newsletter update, and I just HAD to laugh. As if I needed an excuse to indulge in chocolate!!!

It's an article released by Reuters last Monday titled:

"Chocolate may ward off pregnancy complication"

Oh yeah. Here are a few key excerpts:

Indulging in chocolate during pregnancy could help ward off a serious complication known as preeclampsia, new research suggests.

Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, is rich in a chemical called theobromine, which stimulates the heart, relaxes smooth muscle and dilates blood vessels, and has been used to treat chest pain, high blood pressure, and hardening of the arteries, Dr. Elizabeth W. Triche of Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut and colleagues write.

Preeclampsia, in which blood pressure spikes during pregnancy while excess protein is released into the urine, has many features in common with heart disease, the researchers add.

Women who consumed the most chocolate and those whose infants had the highest concentration of theobromine in their cord blood were the least likely to develop preeclampsia. Women in the highest quarter for cord blood theobromine were 69 percent less likely to develop the complication than those in the lowest quarter.

Women who ate five or more servings of chocolate each week in their third trimester of pregnancy were 40 percent less likely to develop preeclampsia than those who ate chocolate less than once a week.

As ashamed as I should be to admit it, I'm pretty sure I qualify as a woman who ate 5 or more servings of chocolate each week in my third trimester. And I have been remarkably healthy with no signs whatsoever of preeclampsia... So bring on the chocolate!!! :)

38 Weeks

I was too lazy to get a picture yesterday, so technically this is my "38 weeks and 1 day" picture. I almost didn't bother taking it because I didn't think a week would make much of a difference. But I think my belly looks WAAAAY bigger in this picture than it did last week. Maybe it's just the shirt and the way the gathers are bunching on my belly. But dude! I'm huge!

Every Saturday night we have to decide where we want to go to church in the morning. We haven't found a church that we love and want to be a part of, and we haven't really been looking for that, since we don't think we're in this area permanently. However, as we were discussing last night where to go and what we might like to do in the weeks ahead, the thought struck me that by next Sunday, we could have a baby. That is freaking me out a little! I mean, I do want him to come this week if he's ready. My mother-in-law is convinced that he'll be born next Sunday, on Mother's Day - I think that would be sweet, but I also wouldn't mind if I was ALREADY a mother by Mother's Day... But then at the same time, we might not be getting ready to go to church next Sunday morning because we have a newborn in the house?!?!?!?! WHOA! This may or may not make any sense. Just sharing what's going on in that crazy head o' mine.

Nursery is READY!

We've been gathering and organizing things for Eli's nursery, and now I think it's finally ready! So I thought I'd post a few pictures of the space we've created for the little man. This clearly won't be his permanent nursery, since it's in my in-laws' house. But they have been so kind in allowing us to set things up exactly how we want them, and I think it's going to be perfect for the first part of his life!His area isn't a room, it's a hallway loft. Our bedroom is on the left and the room Justin has been using as an office is on the right. I wanted him to be as close as possible without actually being in our room, so his little pack-n-play is right on the other side of the wall from where I'll be sleeping! We're waiting to buy his nursery furniture until we actually have a nursery to put it in. In the meantime, I think the pack-n-play with the bassinet insert will be just fine. I like him being out in the hallway too, because then I should be able to hear him even if I'm downstairs. We do have both audio and video baby monitors, but still!
I also wanted to make sure to get a close-up shot of the wall hanging that his Aunt Nicole made for him. SOOOOO cute! She made it to match his bedding set (You can see pieces of it in the tablecloth and lampshade.), and it is just adorable! I actually got teary-eyed when we put it up on the wall because it was so sweet and just a reminder that there will actually be a little Elias here to claim that area SOON!So we are excited and (I think!) just about as ready as people can get. I am getting more physically uncomfortable the bigger he gets and the more Braxton-Hicks contractions I'm having. So I still wouldn't call myself READY, but I'm getting there. :) I'd put my current status as "If he arrives today, that would be ok with me."